Tuesday, April 16, 2013

The Voyager Conspiracy

* (1 tinfoil hat out of 5)
A Newt Man in a hoodie leaves his Stargate behind when he goes home, having forgotten his Newt sunglasses or something. This'll be another Short Hop for Voyager, another Short Hop for Mankind.

Seven of Nine goes crazy again, it must be Tuesday. You can never have enough stories with Seven of Nine going crazy, right?

I am reminded of a comic book story from The Titans #50: in which Starfire appears in a tin foil hat shouting that everyone else in the world has formed a conspiracy against her. Her superhero pals accept her statements without question and don their own tinfoil hats to come to her aid and save the world. Now, the key here is that Starfire has earned her friends' loyalty over years of consistent behaviour.

Strangely, despite a distressing track record with their Borg protege, Voyager's intrepid Captain and First Officer are ready to take her word as gospel and turn on each other rather than consider how likely it is that Seven has simply popped another vacuum tube.

Janeway's newly paranoid attitude toward Chakotay reflects the lyrics of the Poet Yankovic: "I even think it's kinda cute the way you poison my coffee just a little each day." Or is it JANEWAY who's spent 5 years ruining everyone's lives in order to rack up frequent flyer miles? To hear Seven weave her tissue of tangled, interconnected, but unrelated facts, even pre-teen Naomi Wildman is following a nefarious galaxy-spanning agenda of conquest.

(This is the only conspiracy theory which turns out to be correct. And she would prefer to be addressed as Naomi Khan. At least when she's not watching Adventure Time.)

"The Voyager Conspiracy" is meandering, pointless filler. To be blunt, it's dumb. At least 'Shades of Grey' had the writer's strike for an excuse. What was this, a writer's stroke?

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