Friday, April 26, 2013

Good Shepherd

**** (4 stars out of 5)
Hoping to make up for putting her actual friends second to some filthy holograms, Captain Janeway has decided from now on, no crewman will be left behind. No matter how useless.

Take William Telfer, Tal Celes, and Mortimer Harren, for example. Better known as Billy the Hypochondriac, Twitchy Bajoran Quota Girl, and Chip Carson The Invisible Kid. They've never joined in any reindeer games, and Janeway's going to get them to socialize on a Delta Flyer Away Mission if it kills them. And with the Flyer's track record, it might!

Telfer gets sick for real-real with a bizarre dark-matter parasite fresh from an X-Files episode, while Celes admits that just doing her math-filled job without hiding under blankets may be beyond her. Mort's fine with math, he'd do it all day especially if it meant he didn't have to socialize. He tells Janeway he was only IN Starfleet to meet a year-long 'Going Outside' requirement of the Orion Institute of Cosmology. So instead of spending his life doing long, long division with green cheerleaders, he's been banging his head on the bowels of Voyager for six years. No wonder he's so pissy.

"Good Shepherd" has awesome special effects. The opening shot swooping into Janeway's office window, through the ship, down to Herron's dingy warren, and back out his window is really great. But... but... why would anyone want a window in the floor? Would you want an infinite abyss whipping by right next to your office chair?

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