Monday, April 1, 2013


**** (4 stars out of 5)

Just a little bit of history repeating...

Seven has been recruited by the Star League to defend the frontier against Xur and The Kodan... huh? No, that sounds like a fan fiction. I meant Seven has been recruited by Captain Braxton and Lt. Ducane of Federation timeship Relativity.

These Time Cops have taken Miss Sept de Neuf 500 years into the future to be a Secret Time Agent and disable a temporal disruptor. It was planted by a deranged lunatic just before Voyager's launch five years ago. It will have/is/is going to destroy the ship! For the fifth time! This year!

The save has been tried twice before, and both Sevens died. Third time better be the charm, because four times will cause serious sensory aphasia and/or temporal psychosis. Also McFly's family will erase and the two Brigadiers may have a mental breakdown.

Speaking of which, time travel turned Braxton into a completely different man. He's apparently the same Braxton from "Future's End" except he remembers the timeline where he suffered through decades of 20th century pharmaceuticals. From which he went mad, MAD I TELLS YA! Plus he got portly and his hair changed colour.

If you squint and try not to think very hard... this can be a crazy fun run-around. If I demanded more logic than enjoyment it would probably drop to 3 stars. But today I won't.

Most confusing to me is Ducane's plan to "re-integrate" three Braxtons, two of which are innocent, and put the resulting multiple man on trial. I can't even begin to follow that reasoning! The foremost question I have is: at what point does he become the Bartender of Destiny from the final episode of Quantum Leap?

"Relativity" is a compromise of what the rabid fans wanted: Seven dies and dresses in Starfleet garb! (Neither is permanent.) Do her leftover corpses collapse into uncertainty particles now that her past self lived, or did they just throw them on the pile? Do these Pre-Cops pilfer people from parallel places? Are a couple of universes now missing their Sevenses of Nines? Like I said: don't think, just like.

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