Muse

*** (3 stars out of 5)
Kelis the Poet found inspiration in his writing at last- and tied it up so she wouldn't escape.

As we all know, Star Trek shuttles crash almost as often as texting drivers. Today's crash left B'Elanna Torres in the alien version of the ancient Greek theatre-in-the-round with a pinch of Misery. For Kelis to please his Patron, Torres must spin 1,0001 Tales-- such as "Naomi's Big Adventure", "Borgs By The Bushel", and "That Time Everyone Turned into Salamanders".

Like Slurms MacKenzie (The Original Party Worm), if she's not the life of the party all night, every night, she's fired. And if she's good, Kelis will treat her injuries with more leeches, speaking of worms.

How unhappy will Kelis' girlfriend have to get before she wonders what he's hiding, and why Torres is ridged for his pleasure?

How quickly will the corpulent, bacon-fed audience tire of the adventures of the godly 'Voyager Eternals'? Six seasons? Seven at most?

But underneath my cynicism, I still love the last line of the episode quite a bit:

"And Voyager will continue on her journey to the gleaming cities of Earth- where peace reigns and hatred has no home."

"Muse", not to be confused with 'The Muse' (another Trek story about an obsessed scribe), has an unfortunate sense of self-referential self-pity. By nature, a writer wants to change the world, or even a single heart, with words. But writer's block won't ever be effectively cured by happenstance, kidnapping, and plagiarism. And as the metaphors dry up, the writers literally walk out on stage and shrug: We're Out of Material.