Friday, April 5, 2013


*** (3 stars out of 5)
In which Voyager comes to the rescue of a pint-sized, wrecked-up Starfleet ship that was also snatched up by the Caretaker five years ago, but had a much worse time of it getting here. The captain looks like he was forced to play Russian Roulette and live in a flooded corpse cage with rats! Or something. Then again, Equinox HAS made suspiciously good time despite their desperate, desperate state...

The shell-shocked crew is grateful to be rescued from an alien attack. Their Ensign Marla Gilmore seems cowed and her trauma level is set to Full Sister Wife. Their XO Max Burke is an insufferable prick who once dated Torres and called her 'BLT' (after the sandwich and some of the letters in her name, you understand). Just like Andy, that jerk from 'The Office' called Jim Halpert 'Tuna'. But you don't need a stupid nickname if your name is already 'Berk'. Finally, there's Captain Rudolph Ransom- the ringleader who made his crew accomplices in mass murder. Yay!

It comes to light that the reason they've come so far so fast is that they've killed nearly a hundred sentient beings. These particular flying shrieking eels have every reason to be angry. Ransom discovered accidentally that the aliens contain enough fairy dust to sprinkle over the warp core... once you've ground them up, of course. And who should be running the cheese grater in this grisly sushi kitchen? Equinox's EMH, minus his ethics program. And all it takes is a tap on the shoulder for Evil Doc to pass himself off as Voyager's EMH. What the what!

"Equinox" is well-regarded, but I always find it lacklustre. Shouldn't you pull out all the stops for a season finale? I had more fun with 'Macrocosm'- if it's just going to come down to a bug hunt.

No comments:

Post a Comment