Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Wrongs Darker Than Death or Night

*** (3 stars out of 5)
In the wise words of my good friend and colleague Ron Gleason: "There's no worse career than Assistant Crack Whore." Major Kira discovers the truth of this while time travelling into her mother's past.

 A midnight video call from that bastion of honesty and mental health S.G. Dukat reveals an unappetizing "truth". Kira Meru was his lover... for years.

Umm... would you take the word of Hitler, tooling around a war zone in a VW bug? (And you'd think Starfleet could track its own stolen shuttles, but Dukat seems to continue to elude everyone. Insanity must work like a cloaking device.)

Kira again uses the Orb of Time, but now the only funny tribbles are in Dukat's pants.

Evading soup muggers, "Luma Rahl" briefly meets her infant self, and is quickly 'procured' as a "comfort woman" alongside her mom. "Linger as long as you want in the sonic showers." says Basso, formerly from the movie UHF. "Cardassians value cleanliness." Oh, Basso, you sleaze. Why didn't you stay in television with your pal Weird Al? U62 was a broken-down station, too, but at least there the goings-on weren't so unsavoury.

Prefect Dukat is full of honeyed words about bridging the gulf between their peoples. Of course, he'd be easier to like if he wasn't running a rape dungeon orbiting a slave world.

Despite literally walking a mile in her mother's high-heeled shoes, Kira can only take the hard line that she should have died before "collaborating". Or can she? One thing's for sure: nobody's forgiving Dukat anytime soon.

"Wrongs Darker Than Death or Night" in the words of Dax: "It'll be the grimmest party you've ever been to..."

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