Sunday, June 23, 2013

Carbon Creek

**** (4 stars out of 5)
T'Pol's second foremother (that's Vulcan for great-grandmother) was in on the previously unknown REAL first contact between humans and Vulcans in Carbon Creek, Pennsylvania. The year was 1957 and the local Star Nerds crashed for some reason while peering at Sputnik. T'Mir, Mestral, and Moe from the Three Stooges disguised themselves to hide among the primitives. They are forced to socialize or starve to death. A nerds worst dilemma! So, they all died.

No, not really. The castaways are stranded, on an island out at sea, with the Grandmother, the Skipper, too, the Professor... sorry, the theme is actually My Favourite Martian meets I Love Lucy.

The castaways steal local clothes, T'Pol's hot grandma stripping behind a sheet for modesty. Then they get logical jobs as pool hustlers, plumbers, and patent holders on the Vulcan invention Velcro. And strippers, no doubt.

While living with "fishsticks and the constant threat of nuclear annihilation", Mestral watches TV and goes on a date with a divorcee, T'Mir gives a plucky local boy a college education, and they all save some trapped miners before they have to eat Timothy.

Mestral remains behind where he presumably teams up with Forrest Gump, Flint Brack, and Lazarus Long to observe the progress of humanity and hopefully invest in information and entertainment technologies rather than the housing market.

"Carbon Creek" is cute and clever and charming. Archer and Trip are left wondering whether the science officer made it all up, but the audience is not. Mainly, I was left wondering how the Tellarites had interstellar ships in 1957. Hey, were humans the last ones on the block to figure that out?

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