A Night in Sickbay

**** (4 stars out of 5)

"Starfleet didn't send us out here to humiliate ourselves," grumbles Jon Archer, all evidence to the contrary as he and his comely crew slather each other with 'medicine' in their bathing suit areas. For more on this subject, see The Trek Nation.

Trained diplomat or not, Captain Archer has spent over 5 days apologizing to the Kreetassans for the months-old public eating incident in hopes of getting a plasma injector from them. Whereupon, beagle Porthos peed on on of their sacred trees and offended them again. But more importantly from the Captain's point of view, Porthos caught something deadly. In Kreetassa, trees bite YOU!

Phlox has an insane number of medical degrees and some frankly appalling grooming habits. I don't mean he's badly groomed, I mean I'll never be able to un-see the man brushing his tongue. And neither will you!

And Reed's not the only one with sex dreams about the Ice Queen T'Pol. The Captain's having them, too... and out come the butterfly nets. Possibly to take the Captain's mind off his dying dog, the doctor takes him on a bat-catching journey into madness.

"A Night in Sickbay" is not well regarded, but I love it so. Which is the same as saying I love Phlox The Polygamist with Nutritious Toenails and Archer who abandons all duty if his pet is ill. From my perspective, Archer's character is not diminished or undermined by this story. He loves his dog! What's so wrong with that? And he learns a lesson Canadians famously already know. In one of the deleted scenes, Trip gives his Captain the advice he got from his mother, and it's strange to me that this got cut, because it's one of the best lines in the series. "It's o.k. to apologize when you shouldn't have to... just as long as you don't mean it."
You can even wear pigtails and curtsy: as long as you don't mean it.