Wednesday, March 27, 2013


*** (3 stars out of 5)

Great Green Globs of Greasy, Grimy Malon Guts- and me without my spoon!

When a gloopy Malon Toxic Waste carrier ship springs a leak it threatens to seep theta radiation poisoning across the entire sector!? Really? SECTOR? How is that even possible? And here I thought the Gamelan garbage scow was filthy!

Speaking of filthy, B'Elanna Torres is a dirty girl. Dirty, dirty girl. What was I saying? Oh, right, she's spending the story crawling around covered in grease, grime and LETHAL RADIATION.

Because radiation is a serious matter, Torres strips down to a singlet. It's very HOT, you see? Why put on some bulky ANTI-RADIATION SUIT? When your life and desire to not mutate are at stake, always wear as little as possible.

Neelix gets into the act with his "Going Spelunking in a Haunted Barge Cat-Suit". I don't think this was quite as welcome, however.

What monster lurks in the dark, contaminated, Health-and-Safety-Regulation Forsaken engine room? Could it possibly be more like the Toxic Avenger? And is it possible Torres could take off more clothing before she beats it to death with a pipe?

Why even pretend that the Starfleet way includes a reverence for life if you never make use of the stun setting? Or ANY form of non-lethal sedations or restraints? No, as Michael Jackson always said: "Just Beat It."

"Juggernaut" is a draggy, one-star episode which ends with a two-star shower scene. Just the way I like... uh, sort of tolerate it.

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