Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Time's Orphan

*** (3 stars out of 5)
If I was Miles O'Brien, I'd long since have a complex that the universe really, really hated me for some reason. At least once a year, some unprecedented awful thing happens to this guy!

What he deserves: nice picnic with the family.

What he GETS: insane gut-wrenching disaster!!!

Today his daughter falls through a time portal of unknown origin. Molly winds up all alone on the habitable but empty planet Golana, 300 years ago.
Thanks to alien litterbugs, when your kid falls down a well she never stops falling.

The crack Starfleet team beam her back: but somehow it's ten years too late. She's now a feral, disturbed 18 year old.

Molly spends a couple of days grunting and swaying like a t'ee inna win'. But Liam Neeson is unavailable to help acclimate Poor Space Nell. Perhaps the O'Brien's cat Chester will help? Well, perhaps not. He's just a cat, after all.

Meanwhile Worf, who has apparently battled Kelvans twice his size, must now face the terrible challenge of babysitting Kira Yoshi O'Brien. (Did the Kelvans turn against the Federation after all? Does Worf just fight them on the holodeck? Maybe some Kelvans are just jerks!)

"Time's Orphan" features the adult saving the child version of themselves, which is a fine thing. See "Yesteryear" for a version of the same story that I personally found more meaningful. Still, it's worth it to see Quark get bitten (he probably deserves it) and to see Worf teaching combat skills with a baby rattle.

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