Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Hope and Fear

*** (3 stars out of 5)
Captain Janeway has spent many sleepless nights since the Letters From Home got partly shredded by the Hirogen, trying to piece together the remaining gibberish.

What luck! Tom and Neelix found a friendly talking goiter who speaks over 4000 languages and learns new ones in moments. Would HE mind taking a look? Of course not! Don't even bother to learn his species' own name for themselves, either. Just keep right on using Borg designations, everyone LOVES when you do that.

Quick as a wink, their good chum Arturis has revealed a message from Admiral Windbag. Voyager's not so very far from U.S.S. Dauntless. That's a brand new starship with an unheard-of advancement in speediness called the quantum slipstream drive. Starfleet was kind enough to throw it to them. And it's empty, just in case. Don't ask just in case of what. It came 60 years distance in 3 months. It even has that new starship smell. Everyone hop in!

Thankfully, the crew spends so much time staring deeply into the maw of this particular gift horse that only Seven and Janeway are trapped aboard when Arturis shows his true colours. Can they stop barking at each other long enough for the Captain to jam a hairpin in Seven's eyebrow to open the jail door? (Don't even ask, I have no idea how that worked.)

"Hope and Fear" brings our season of All Borg, All the time to a close. Was it worth it? Perhaps. Are you as sick of Borg as I am? Well, probably not.

And if there is a villain here, maybe it WAS Janeway. Hear me out! Arturis' entire race got shafted mainly thanks to her Deal With the Devil. Does she express a moment of regret? Of course not! Screw them and their goiter heads, anyway! That's what they get for living here. Go Team Borg!

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