Tribunal

*** (3 stars out of 5)

Figuratively prying Miles O'Brien off his workstation and sending him on vacation isn't easy. But it's not much of a vacation. 

Like Scotty, O'Brien might almost rather read Tech Manuals than kiss his wife (if Scotty had a wife, which is by no means certain. Maybe he kissed Tech Manuals?) Miles won't be doing either. Gul Evek, on the wrong side of the DMZ, arrests O'Brien with no explanation. 

On Cardassia Prime Miles is stripped, filed, briefed, debriefed, scanned, and pummeled as necessary. Plus a standardized molar plucking for ID purposes. Also dressed in a studded pleather catsuit because they liked it on Evil Kira so much.

Chief Archon Makbar assigns him the venerable Korvat as public conservator. A lawyer, by any other name, except that Korvat's job is to help the defendant concede the infallible wisdom of the state. He's never won a case, but then "Winning isn't everything."

Odo, still technically an officer of the Cardassian court, volunteers to serve as 'Nestor'. He begins gathering twigs and twine in which to lay his eggs... no, I guess 'nestor' means 'advisor'.

Lordy, how I love O'Brien! "No one in my entire life has ever had cause to ask: 'Miles O'Brien, are you a criminal?' I took an oath to defend the Federation and what it stands for. I don't steal from them, I don't lie to them. I'm no angel, but I try to live every day as the best human being I know how to be." 

Because of Odo's efforts, the televised trial extends into a second day- the longest trial in the history of the planet. Miles is pre-sentenced to death for attempting to smuggle photon warheads to the Maquis.

Makbar goads Miles with his vocal history of distrusting Cardassians. But surely this Kafka-esque ordeal will turn THAT attitude right around!

The true culprit turned out to be Raymond Boone, the good old friend Miles never mentioned who was replaced by a Cardie lookalike eight years ago. The instant Sisko arrives with "Boone", Kovat's won his first trial. "They'll kill me," he gasps.

"Tribunal" reveals how everyone has a good chuckle at the guy who won't take a holiday... but LOOK WHAT HAPPENS! If Geordi got snatched and brainwashed by Romulans in his way to Risa in 'The Mind's Eye', how much MORE risky is a runabout ride along the Demilitarized Zone? 'C'mon, sweetie, let's pack a picnic lunch out by the shooting war between the Lizard-Men and the cast of 'Deliverance'!

May your vacations always be more pleasant!