Profit and Loss

*** (3 stars out of 5)

Of all the synthehol spots on all the stations in the quadrant, she has to walk into mine.

The 'she' in question is Natima Lang, political ethics professor. Natima got romantic with Quark seven years ago, when she was a correspondent for the Cardassian Information Service. She apparently was willing to overlook his buttocks-like cranium if he overlooked her scaly cleavage.

I kid, I kid. Lang saw a side of Quark few ever see: he was courageous enough to sell food to the Bajorans when it would have got him executed. He was also greedy enough to steal from her employers at Cardie Pravda, with predictable catastrophe. The barkeep professes his love for the professor, and the professor tells him to piss off.

Garak relays a message/threat to Sisko: Lang's 'students' Hogue and Rekelen are wanted by the Cardassian Central Command.  Quark will actually GIVE the activists his fist-sized cloaking device if they get gone- and make Natima stay with him. (Cloaking devices are highly illegal under Bajoran Law: possession gets you 50 years digging trenches in a penal colony. Interesting... but not just yet.)

The Bajoran government orders the trio of radicals given over to the Cardassians in exchange for 6 Bajoran prisoners. (Oh, you wacky tyrant lizards: only six new prisoners since you swore you didn't have any six months ago?) Which is all very horrible enough except hateful Gul Toran orders Garak to kill the radicals first.

Quark pleads with Odo for Natima's release. "Don't allow my greed to keep you from doing the right thing." In fact, Odo DOES free them... for justice. Yet, somehow Odo keeps his job.  He must have incriminating holograms of the Provisional Government with a pronghorn moose or something...

Garak rather casually disintegrates Toran, allowing the rebels to escape.

Lang will return to Quark.. but only when Cardassia has become a free and democratic society. So don't hold your breath. But if Quark and Garak can be believed or trusted, that's a day they both look forward to. When they walk out alone together it's not the beginning of a beautiful anything (unless you believe the Fan Fic).

Play it, Rom. Play "Profit and Loss" again. If she can take it, I can.