Thine Own Self

*** (3 stars out of 5)

Troi returns from a class reunion with a greater desire to pursue her career, by which she means bossing people around and shooting at bad guys, apparently. You, know, like a psychologist. She notices Beverly sitting in the big chair on night shift and takes the courses to move up to Commander rank herself.

Deanna has a particularly hard time with the engineering emergency portion. She fails it three times and Riker tells her she's just not qualified. As Malibu Stacy once giggled: Thinking Gives You Wrinkles! Troi earns some Thinkles today and beats the test by sending her simulated friend Geordi to his simulated demise. Like a boss!

The pre-industrial civilization on Barkon IV gets a shock when a Federation probe crashes there, and a strange pale monster with amnesia wanders into town with a suitcase full of radioactive death.

Garvin the magistrate befriends the odd ice man, and Garvin's daughter Gia names him 'Jayden'. Gia says her mother has gone to "a beautiful place where everything is peaceful and everyone loves each other and no one ever gets sick." Although he cannot remember why, Jayden also believes there is such a place.

Unable to remember what his valise contains, Jayden passes the contents out like rock candy.
Hair begins to fall out and skin to burn. Local sage Talar treats with rest and fresh air.

Jayden believes his shiny metal fragments caused the sickness, but before he can cure it the locals attack him and tear half his face off.  Icepick for the Ice Man! His head is full of lights and shiny metal which they don't find reassuring.

You know the rest. Monster saves village, angry mob spears and buries monster. Act in haste, repent... oh, sometime.

"Thine Own Self" raises the question: if there was a ST:TNG season 8, would Data have made a better vampire or a werewolf?  Second rumination: this is not the last time half of Data's face will be torn off. Fortunately, Geordi must have a vat of Data Spackle somewhere.

(And many thanks to my amazing wife for the portmanteau word 'Thinkles'.)