Thursday, September 27, 2012

Cold Fire

*** (3 stars out of 5)
Ten months after meeting The Caretaker, Voyager encounters his better half. If a Sporocystian Jellyfish who kidnaps everything in the galaxy to mate with can be said to HAVE a better half. Also, she's not better. She's totally evil.

Kes has expanded her telepathic power with Tuvok's help, although he objects when she giggles at overhearing Neelix's thoughts. Neelix treasures his ear hair. I can relate!

Janeway apparently gave the Caretaker's shrivelled, pumice-like corpse to the Doctor for a paperweight. It starts buzzing when the Voyager passes within 10 light-years of the other Sporocystian.

Suspiria the Nacene's got a fancy schmancy space station and 2,000 pet Ocampa. Their leader, Tanis, tells them that Voyager is getting a reputation as a 'ship of death'. Three centuries of cultural divergence has changed these elves a lot: they live twice as long, have psychokinetic abilities including "enhancing life" and oh, they're totally evil.

It's true: I hear Suspiria even founded a school of Ballet and Witchcraft where students came to nasty ends in rooms full of barbed wire.

As a precaution against the barbed wire, Tuvok prepares a Suspiria-specific toxin.

Tanis prompts Kes to become telekinetic and pyrokinetic. While showing off for her mentor, she IGNITES Tuvok's blood. HOLY SH-NIKEYS! Was that ever a shock first time through. As usual, even ROASTED BRAIN is no sweat for the Doctor to fix right up. Take two hyposprays in a glass of water and go on light duty for a couple of days!

Tanis gets his jollies by teaching Kes how to set her arboretum on fire. His insights have led him to total amorality. I find it utterly mind boggling that Kes is tempted by any part of this freakshow. 'Come with me to Exotia! A subspace domain of pure thought! Burn, baby, burn!' This guy's loopier than "The Tick" cartoon fruitloop 'The Midnight Bomber What Bombs At Midnight'.

Kes actually thinks it over with a bashful smile, kicking her feet, "Oh, I don't know." Duh, O.K.! Show me how to boil my friends! Sounds neat-o!

If Tanis is a creep, Suspiria is a complete Nutbar, Part of this Psychotic Breakfast! She blames Janeway for the Caretaker's death, torments her crew, and when Janeway shows mercy, Suspira slithers away back to Exotia.

"Cold Fire" is creeptacular, but it's not terribly logical, the villain's motive is inexplicable, and there is no follow up. Ever. If it oozes, it loses.

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