Monday, September 3, 2012


** (2 stars out of 5)
Janeway's playing a new holonovel in Ancient England, as Ms. Davenport, governess to the children of Lord Burleigh. She's already one up on Dr. Pulaski by knowing the correct response to 'One lump or two?' is 'Two.' not 'Lumps?'.

Today's modern holodeck is not run off the warp power grid, but off a previously unheard of holodeck matrix. The upshot of which is even if you're so short on replicator power that you're forced to strain your shoelaces for food, you can still play Jane Austen holonovels and starve to death in Mr. Bingley's gazebo.

Chakotay returns from a mission brain dead, with no neural activity at all. I will refrain from the obvious joke about the writers writing what they know.

Tuvok reports he was attacked by aliens in a dark matter nebula. Tuvok reports a lot of things today.

In the light of this unknown invader, Janeway transfers the command codes to the Doctor in case the senior officers act strangely. Well, stranger than usual.

Tom waxes nostalgic for his old Doc Brown, who provided lollipops, recent holocomic books, and house calls. Also he had a very cool classic Delorean hover car.

Kes is left in a coma by what Tuvok reports as an alien attack. Tuvok pulls his phaser on Kim for having a momentary daydream.  Tuvok is also the last person to talk to the holographic doctor before someone shuts him off, locks him down and encrypts him.

Guess which crewman is the puppet of the evil vampiric energy beings called the Komar? I'll give you a hint and it rhymes with Bluvok.

Tuvok, Tom, and Torres are reduced in rank today, but not as part of the story. I have to assume it happened off screen, for good reasons, such as mutiny in 'Prime Factors' rather than because of a costuming error or because their names start with 'T'.

"Cathexis" is Greek for 'Occupation' and what gets me is how they can have sensors that show alien souls wandering around, medical scans that can tell one brain from another, and no way to add those things together to scan for Chakotay's wandering ghost. SCIENCE!

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