Wednesday, July 24, 2013


** (2 stars out of 5)
Tonight, we'll be watching Disney's, uh, UPN's Hoshi and the Beast.

With a strong molester vibe, and an acknowledgement from everyone that it's a very unreasonable request, Creepy Stalker with a face made of lobsters asks for Hoshi Sato to remain behind with him in his creepy empty mansion on his creepy empty planet. Please ignore the graves of my last duchess!

I'm left wondering why Gung-Ho Tough-As-Nails Step-On-Their-Necks-And-Ask-Questions-Later-at-Gunpoint-if-There's-Time Season Three Captain Archer doesn't FORCE the ancient telepathic "Exile" to travel with them. Tarquin can leer at Hoshi's mind just as well with 90 other people around to make sure it doesn't turn any uglier, and they don't have to come back later. Granted, they would have found out in the first few minutes that he outclasses them. And, further, why does he want to live alone when Enterprise could presumably take him anywhere else? Off the top of my head, Betazoid singles bar?No, no, by all means, stay inside alone forever and listen to the rats chewing the insulation in your brain.

I have very little patience for gothic mansions and brooding, but over in the B-Story I've got a bit of an SFX hard-on for the scene where Archer and Tucker desperately shoot down their own malfunctioning shuttle and it does not QUITE fall on them. Does gravity work like that? I have my doubts. Still, very cool to look at!

The previously encountered world-sized sphere that screws with space is not unique. There are over 50 of them. Take that, Palpatine! For a species that has no home and can't co-operate, the Xindi seem to have little in the way of BUDGET restrictions. Where DO they get these wonderful toys?

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