Tuesday, July 9, 2013


** (2 stars out of 5)
When Star Trek does Con Air, does that make it... KHAN Air?

Previously, Archer and Mayweather were arrested by Grat. Then Archer and Reed were arrested by Gosis. Now Archer and Tucker are arrested by Enolians. Firstly, they seem to get arrested a LOT for innocent people! Second, if I was this crew, I don't know if I'd get into a shuttle with Archer anymore.

Trip's moss-jowled seat-mate in the slave galley won't shut up. Perhaps (since the writer would go on to greater things with popular crime drama Breaking Bad) he's here for cooking space-meth? He likes Cardassian food, so he must be out of his mind. And speaking of food, the usually genial Tucker doesn't bother to swap his famous catfish recipes... the guy would probably take it personally.

Kuroda Lor-ehn, identical cousin to the Enterprise-D's empathic murder-suicide Walter Pierce, hijacks the rocket just as our heroes are about to be released. As a former Colonial Marine, Lor-ehn plans to escape, but kill everyone else in a horrible fiery crash on planet Tamaal, so Archer must find a way to out-think the brutal maniac. Well, out-PUNCH. There's not a lot of thinking here.

It was on, then it wasn't. I was watching it, then I wasn't. And yet I own every single hour of this drab, uninspiring season! We never learn what makes the "Canamar" prison so bad that Lor-ehn would rather burn alive than go back there. It must be as awful as Kandahar and Canada put together.

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