Thursday, December 27, 2012

The Gift

*** (3 stars out of 5)
7 of 9 has been separated from the Borg collective and the drone's human immune system has begun to reassert itself. The EMH sets about removing the implants as quickly as possible. Except the good ones. The oven mitt hand and corset, for example.  And are the high heels extensions of her actual heels? Because that's very useful.

Fortunately for the quick de-Borging surgeries, Nurse Kes has psychokinesis. And is leaving for her new series Suddenly Psychokinesis. Unfortunately, Old News Elf will have to wait half an hour for Exciting New Boobs to shove her story out of the way forever.

Janeway finds Annika Hansen in the archives: her iconoclastic explorer parents lit out for the Delta Quadrant and distinguished themselves by becoming the first human nuclear family absorbed by the Borg. Hooray?

7 of 9 is still in bits when Janeway decides to become her new Queen, force her to develop individuality, free will, play nice with others and if she has time after recovering from 18 years of inhuman trauma would she mind removing the Borg bits mucking up Voyager.

Kes gains mastery over the subatomic, and under that a new level of reality. And under that, some stray coins and lint from God's pants' pockets.

Harry Kim clumsily hits on 7 of 9. "I guess the Borg meet a lot of people, don't they?" She backhands him and calls in her Borg cavalry. It's Harry's most successful relationship to date.

Kes is talking exactly like The Traveller, seeing thought, time and space as one. Is it the Talaxian moon-ripened champagne talking or is Kes's rebirth into another realm wrecking up the joint?

It's not easy becoming a space genie or whatever.

When Kes vanishes, her parting gift throws Voyager safely beyond Borg space (in theory) and ten years closer to home. Better than a copy of Ocampa Glow Stick: The Home Game.

Leaving one Borg chamber for Seven to live in, they throw the rest out, I guess. Seven hates being human and Janeway for making her into one. But nobody hates the EMH for designing her catsuit and styling her hair. (He's got fashion design down cold, but no head-shrinking database.)

"The Gift" trades Kes for Seven. Which seemed like a mistake. I know, I know, strong, intelligent, opinionated females are not the worst idea ever. And I normally praise skin-tight costumes for their own sake alone! But the tormented cyborg sexpot was simultaneously obvious and off-putting to me. No, really, I'm as surprised as anyone.

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