Thursday, May 10, 2012

Past Prologue

*** (3 stars out of 5)

Build a better wormhole, and the quadrant will beat a path to your door.

The only Cardassian left on the station, a tailor and suspected spy named Garak, makes genial contact with Julian Bashir and feels him up while he's sounding him out. I'm not saying Garak is gay, but that shirt is definitely bi-curious.

Speaking of, Major Kira has found time for a buzz-cut. And for her old chum to drop by: Bajoran terrorist Tahna Los. Tahna is from a particularly enthusiastic group who still kill Cardassians and any Bajoran who might have waved hello to a Cardassian.

Kira doesn't think Sisko is granting Tahna asylum fast enough, so she reports him to the Principal, I mean, Spock's wife. I mean Admiral Rollman. (Mrs. Spock.)

Tahna doesn't approve of kindly Uncle Federation moving in, he wants Bajor for Bajorans.

Lursa and B'Etor want Bajor for Lursa and B'Etor. I assume. Anyway, they're putting the fun in fundraising. And their Kloobies on display with Power Girl's classic Boob Windows. Fashionista Garak compliments their outfits, kind of amusing from a man who got his shirt from Marvel Comics' Flint "Sandman" Marko.

The Duras sisters sell Tahna a bomb. Kira stops him collapsing the wormhole entrance with it. You heard right: this dink wanted to destroy the Pearly Gate so everyone would leave Bajor alone. I myself have a plan to stop telemarketer calls by shooting God in the face with a bazooka. It's a plan with no flaws.

"Past Prologue" begins to illuminate the new seedy underbelly of the Federation. Those dramatic elements missing from Utopia are sneaking in. Nationalistic pride. Money problems. Creepy tailors cupping your inseam when, frankly, a replicator could just GIVE you a nice pair of slacks. Instantly!

That complained about, Andrew "Garak" Robinson is FREAKING BRILLIANT. The man can do no wrong. By which I mean everything Garak does and says seems wrong by way of subtext. Garak oozes charm, and when Odo's around he can charm ooze.

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