A Man Alone

*** (3 stars out of 5)

Difficult as it might be to imagine, a Bajoran once murdered a Cardassian, so Odo sent him to prison. Now he's back, from outer space. He's called Ibudan.

Mischievous Nog and Jake release Garanian Bolites in the Replimat, which make Bajorans itchy and change colours. This may actually be the Bajorans' own fault: apparently there is nothing on Bajoran television.

Odo would have no one to watch it with: the Constable has never 'coupled' because he eschews compromise. Also, he sleeps in a pail and that was his only alibi when Ibudan was stabbed dead during a massage in Quark's holosuite.

(A holosuite is, I guess, a holodeck with a lock. Today the massage did not include a happy ending.)

Ben misses Guy Love with Curzon Dax, but he won't stand in Julian's way if he wants to romance Jadzia Dax. It's especially easy to say this since Jadzia wants nothing to do with the guy.

Bored Keiko O'Brien becomes a schoolmarm just because. A degree in botany is the same as a teaching certificate, right? Over the misogynist, culturally insular attitudes of Nog's father Rom the Pit Boss, Keiko even gets Nog into her school. This is a coup somehow.

Convicted in the court of wild speculation, Odo is chased by angry brick-tossers. (I choose to believe the brown cucumber-headed guy isn't there for the racist mob, he just thinks he's lining up for drinks.)

Dr. Bashir acquires DNA evidence and immediately starts growing it as though that made more sense than simply scanning it for clues. Congratulations: It's Floor Scrapings! And another Ibudan is born.

Spoliers: the victim did it. He was framing the Constable. As Odo puts it: "Killing your own clone is still murder."

New clone of Ibudan starts a new life while original Ibudan returns to original jail. (Is Doctor Bashir planning to put "Clobudan" through college? And if not, why did he grow him in the first place? Seems like a jerk move, Bashir.)

"A Man Alone" adds a few more problems to this little dystopia: racism, shoddy education, and the knee-jerk formation of lynch mobs. As a sidebar, Ibudan's logs mention he's been to Alderaan. So it could always be worse.