Invasive Procedures

*** (3 stars out of 5)

The sky outside Deep Space Nine looks like the sky outside my house: ominous and rumbling.

Quark waxes nostalgic for his dear departed brother, Rom. Departed temporarily because of the plasma storm, that is. "He couldn't find a cup of water if you dropped him in a lake," Quark sighs.

Poor lost cargo ship Ekina really, really needs help.  They're overloaded with guns and Klingons and LIES! They force Odo to get in a box, and Bashir to put the box in stasis. (And no more whining about how Odo breaks the laws of physics whenever he changes in mass. Odo only has to follow ODO's LAWS! Odo AM the Law! Sorry, just a little Judge Dredd moment, there.)

The leader of the cutthroats is that duplicitous scoundrel Lionel Luther's Identical Trill cousin Verad. Or a descendant of Gremlins 2's Daniel Clamp. Either way, a Trill, and he wants the Dax symbiont for himself at the cost of Jadzia's life. Did I say cutthroats? It's really more of an abdomen slitting...

Jadzia's parents and sister weren't chosen for joining; only one in ten candidates are. Washout Verad wasn't willing to settle for a life of slug-less mediocrity, and there's a nice, convenient Gamma Quadrant to run to afterwards. Verad shoots O'Brien to make Bashir co-operate with the operation. How did this gentleman fail the psyche evaluations, I wonder?

Verad's GF Mareel worked at an 'accommodation house' on Kefka IV. Verad was her client, who took her off that world when he was recalled to Trill. (I don't know about you, but I wouldn't sleep overnight  somewhere called Kefka. Don't want to awaken as some Gregor Samsa bug.)

Verad Dax is now a proud, confident Trill, with two lifetimes of history with Benjamin Sisko. But no stories of the Cliffs of Bole and too many helpings of Andorian Redbat will erase the fact that Verad Dax only exists at the cost of Jadzia's life. Also, he's aloof with Mareel to the point of jerk-holishness.

Facing the prospect that this is entirely his fault for inviting this vampire inside, Quark attacks a Klingon, fakes a fatal earache, and teams up with Bashir to pick the lockbox and free Odo. It might not seem like much comeuppance for putting half a dozen lives at risk, but maybe having a Klingon 'doctor' your most erogenous zone is punishment enough. Yeeouch!

Tables turned, Sisko gets the Dax slug back by stunning Verad. (Actually risker shooting him in the torso, I would have thought. Wouldn't a head shot be less risky to that wacky little brain slug?)

"Invasive Procedures" made me notice that Dr. Bashir is manning up. Snapping 'Your mama' at Quark last episode, now barking orders at an armed Klingon? Brave move, buddy. I've still got a bit of a man crush.