Monday, June 11, 2012


**** (4 stars out of 5)

Data has a holodeck poker game with Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, and Stephen Hawking. Fanboys punch the air on three... two... now!

Meanwhile, in things that aren't fun, 274 on Ohniaka III are killed, and sneaky Borg are found in their closets. They are brutal, enraged, and much chattier than usual.

Speaking of angry, Data kills one in ANGER. Or an incredible simulation. He decides it is his first emotion (apparently he's not counting that laugh from Q). Has he finally evolved feelings?

Speaking of cold, heartless machines, Admiral Nechayev is still chapped about the way Enterprise handled the Borg Hugh last year. She orders Picard to destroy the Borg any way he can and not keep whining about this 'conscience' he thinks is soooo great. I worry about that woman.

Data confides to Troi that he has tried to activate more feelings with music, holodeck comedy, and porn. He hasn't tried anger again: he regards it as negative. Troi, unlike Yoda, doesn't think anger necessarily leads to hate.

Enterprise catches a Borg alive at the MS I colony. (Personally, I wouldn't name a star system after a tragic nerve disorder, but that's just me.)

Their prisoner is called Crosis. Ned Crosis. He won't answer questions: he just lists efficient methods of killing them. Left alone when everyone human takes an ill-timed pee break, Crosis remotely deactivates Data's ethical program. The cyborg goads the droid into admitting that, to have potent feelings again, he would kill his BFF Geordi. Imagine what he'd do for a Klondike bar.

In light of that, Data absconding with a shuttle and Crosis was the lesser of evils. Geordi figures out how to use the Borg's patented Speedy Gonzales transwarp conduit. They cover 65 light years in a few seconds. Near the ruins of two advanced civilizations, they find the empty shuttle. Good thing, too: they were still making payments on it.

This next plan seems very risky to me. Since the sensors don't work, Picard beams EVERYBODY down in search parties except a skeleton crew. Yes, Everybody. I imagine Mr. Mott and his barbering staff wandering some dismal swamp with phaser rifles and hot combs.

In a building with the red claw emblem previously seen on Borg Action Figures, The Borg's Leader is revealed. It's Lore! With Data The Grouch by his side. The Sons of Soong shall destroy the Federation!

 "Descent" makes it clear some diminishing returns with the Borg are setting in. Angry Birds may be popular, but not so much Angry Borgs. Tune in next year this week anyway!

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