Wednesday, June 13, 2012

The Homecoming

**** (4 stars out of 5)

My new header image is in honour of Rule of Acquisition 76: "Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies."

Quark brings Kira a famous man's earring.  The swindler got it from a female freighter captain called a Boslic. She's much more lickable than last year's Boslic.

Speaking of randy, Jake Sisko is three feet taller this year and dating a girl called Laira. But Major Kira is the one begging Dad for the keys to the car. She wants a runabout to break famed resistance fighter Li Nalas out of a prison on Cardassia IV. Since the Kai joined the Ennis Zombies, Bajor needs a good leader. Ideally one who's tough on graffiti.

Someone's tagging corridors with the logo of anti-alien hate group "The Circle". It's an oval, so, go figure. Dumb racists.

The Hutet Labour Camp is definitely an alien world: and I'd know because I've seen plenty of quarries like it on Doctor Who. As the host of Pimp My Kira, O'Brien arranges a "two strips of latinum" date to distract the camp guard. (Neither goes away satisfied.)

Gul Dukat sends his e-pology. The Cardassian High Command, of course, had no idea Hutet was there and won't you please accept this free basket of muffins and Bajorans?

Sinister Minister Jaro Essa of Bajor's Provisional Government is eager for a holo-op in front of a crowd hero-worshipping Li Nalas. You won't find Jaro in the credits, but he's Lolita's Frank Langella, doing it for the kids.

Quark is branded in the face by masked Circle fanatics. But bigots don't limit themselves to hurting aliens who deserve it. Laira's father won't let her kiss Non-Bajoran Jake, either. And he's probably got the branding iron ready just in case.

A Tygarian captain with a head like an asparagus calls Sisko to ask : would he like stowaway Nalas back? Li is trying to avoid his undeserved and unwanted reputation. He admits that he gained it by clumsily shooting one unarmed, undressed Cardassian. But Sisko won't let the man abandon the legend.

When Bajor gives Nalas a parade and a new title, they also give him Major Kira's job. Whuh-oh!

"The Homecoming" is a strong start. Welcome to the 2370's. Replicate yourself some Klingon coffee, 'cause it's time for a story arc!

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