Saturday, May 4, 2013

Unimatrix Zero, Part II

*** (3 stars out of 5)
Once upon a time, I shelled out $62.99 for the privilege to own Star Trek: Voyager Season 7. And I hadn't OPENED the package until now! Now, when I could watch the season on Netflix for eight bucks a month. No, I'm not kicking myself. It seemed like a good buy at the time. It's just interesting how times change.

As you'll recall, we had left Janeway, Torres, and Tuvok to the tender mercies of the Borg, who don't have any.  The Queen is stomping out the Dream Warriors who dare to defy her by thinking about pleasant irrelevancies like socializing in meadows.

The Captain has joined the ranks of her bald peers. Torres has auto-tune for a voicebox now. And at 113, Tuvok is getting too old for this shit.

Like the Q before them, the Borg have gone into a full-on civil war because of humanity's influence. Like the Q before them, this can only reduce the sense of threat and urgency we feel when we see them coming.

The Queen's recruiting speech to a little dreaming kid is that "Assimilation turns us all into friends." Of course, she makes over 22,000 friends explode in order to stop TWO of them having feelings. So take it with a grain of salt.

"Unimatrix Zero, Part II" makes it seem like the trauma of assimilation can be shrugged off as though it was a day at the spa.

Welcome to the final season of Star Trek Voyager. If I seem harsh despite how much I spent on it, I remember the faces of these convention-goers I saw last week. They clearly enjoyed the series. Although I never got their names, so I need them not to sue me. Also, if you find yourself in Alberta, Canada on April 25-27 in 2014, why not stop by Calgary Expo? You'll have to have purchased tickets in November 2013, probably, but what the heck!

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