Thursday, May 16, 2013


*** (3 stars out of 5)
What's that you say? Engine room full of Klingons? And they'll be no tribble at all?

Another of those antiquated wandering war-time Klingons pops up out of nowhere and attacks their Federation foes. Did someone leave the Coincidensity Generator running? Captain Janeway tells Captain Kohlar of the Khitomer Treaty signed and notarized, lo, these 80 years. But, the man is far more interested in the date of B'Elanna's conception. According to Seven's detailed surveillance records: 14.5 weeks ago. In accordance with the prophecy!

Result! Kohlar purposefully scuttles his old ship, forces Janeway to beam all 204 of his people aboard Voyager. He has interpreted the prophecies of his Nutso Nomadic Great-Grandfather to mean that their saviour, Baby Torres, is the Kuvah'magh. Possibly also the Kwisatz Haderach and the Booyakasha!

While poor slobs Chell and Celes desperately overhaul the plumbing, Kohlar coaches B'Elanna in some creative scroll interpretation and Tom in the use of some blunted bat'leth combat. (Nothing a Klingon loves more than the word "Nonlethal".) Kohlar's not going on record saying he doesn't believe in the "Prophecy"- but he's very ready to settle his followers down somewhere after 100 years of fruitless wandering. Settle down somewhere with fruit, I'm guessing. Heh, scurvy joke.

All these Klingons are carriers of a virus called the nehret. Unlike scurvy, biofilters can't spot it and only Klingons can catch it. Which would have been nice to know before the Torres' caught it. Of course, the hybrid stem cells and the EMH's ingenuity make a little miracle of their own. Praise Be To Science!

Meanwhile, Harry Kim is saved from a date worse than death when Neelix takes amorous Officer Ch'Rega off his hands. (But Tuvok's bed probably took the worst of it.)

I'm implying that the HEDGEHOG GOT IT ON! (In accordance with the prophecy.)

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