The Emissary

**** (4 stars out of 5)

I like this episode a lot, and it's not just Diedrich 'Batman' Bader at Tactical and Anne 'Lisa

Stemple' Ramsey at the Helm.

It is, of course, Suzie 'Dr. Selar' Plakson, back in prosthetic forehead as a love interest for Mr. Worf: Federation Special Emissary K'Ehleyr. It's spelt just like it sounds: a mess.

K'Ehleyr is fired out of a starbase in a coffin-size class 8 probe. For time constraints, you understand. And also to show us that she's bad ass!

Klingon ship T'Ong, launched 75 years ago with crew in cryosleep, is about to reach the Federation colonies in the Boratis system. In 2290 the Klingons were still on war footing with humans, you see. Pillage, pillage, pillage. Loot, loot, loot.

Klingon and human DNA is compatible "with a fair amount of help, rather like my parents" K'Ehleyr quips.

Troi is also mixed race, yet perhaps Troi had the best of both worlds, while K'Ehleyr thinks she may have gotten the worst. Her human mother's sense of humour and her father's rage can both get her into trouble. Still, it's not all bad. The outfits are cute and the head is great for cracking walnuts.

Six years ago, K and W had a thing, but it didn't work out.

"You don't have to act like a Klingon glacier. I don't bite. Well, that's not true. I DO bite."

K'Ehleyr thinks diplomacy with Klingons is hopeless. (Strange career choice to have made, then, wouldn't you say, hmm?) And her meeting with 'The Iceman' Worf frustrates her enough to smash a table. Troi suggests a little exercise, so K'ehleyr uses Worf's holodeck Calisthenics Program.

In this 'enriched' future, there must not be a holodeck privacy setting. That or Worf knows no one would dare use it without asking, or indeed, at all.

Picard orders Worf to relax, too. "I AM RELAXED.!"

The duo find themselves on a quasi-date: chopping up Ninja Turtles together. Then they make with the growly, achey-breaky, bleedy foreplay.

Over the commercial break, they fulfill their urges. K'Ehleyr thought it was only a romp, but Worf starts to take the marriage oath.

"We are mated," he explains.

"Yes, I know. I was there."

She wants to know that he cares human-style, while he wants to fulfill the demands of Klingon honour.

T'Ong goes on the attack. La Forge can tune the sensors to see through the antique cloaking device. But avoiding violence is the goal, so a little ruse is played out:

"Captain" Worf and "First Officer" K'Ehleyr don outfits for public consumption Klingon Kosplay and convince Captain K'Temoc to stand down and get the facts of the new age.

"As you are new to this century, I have tried to be patient." Worf orders the cryo-warrior to drop his shields.

"And if I refuse?" K'Temoc cowboy drawls.

"Then die in ignorance. I can waste no more time on you."

"The Emissary" is a great drama, fair comedy, and wonderful romance. K'Ehleyr is a strong female character, and as far as I was concerned, decidedly crush-worthy. Phil Farrand, author of 'The Nitpickers Guide For Next Generation Trekkers' theorized that Selar & K'Ehleyr are cousins. Identical cousins. One a little bit Vulcan, one a little bit rock-and-roll.