Sunday, January 15, 2012

The Dauphin

** (2 stars out of 5)
Salia, 16-year-old hereditary head of state for planet Daled IV has lived in total isolation save for governess/bodyguard Anya. Enterprise is taking her home, and wouldn't you know it? She's kind of a nerd. Wesley's heart goes pitter-pat, and also what a terrible time for his pants to never quite be closed at the back.

Worf's roaring, clawing, description of Klingon women and the men who read love poetry to them is not the kind of wooing Wes has in mind. "Then go to her door. Beg like a human."

Riker and Guinan demonstrate flirting and quickly get caught up in the act. It brings a smile to my face to watch them forget the kid is even there.

Wes suavely takes Salia on a holodeck date and to Ten-Forward for chocolate. To Suavely Go... I'm not kidding. He's doing fine. At 16 I was a stiff, clumsy, addled goober around girls and anyone who'd tell you different is dead.

Speaking of disposing of evidence, Picard and Worf barely stop Anya from killing a mildly sick man on the off chance that he might be contagious to her young. Anya is not just an aged governess, but is a teddy bear, girl's best friend, and BEM. She's a shape-shifter.

Wes' first kiss with Salia is quickly followed by the discovery that she is as much an allasomorph as her protector.


"The Dauphin" is o.k. Inconsequential fluff. Despite the director's opinion, I think the monster suits hold up fine. And the shape-changing animation is top-notch!

Wes comes across as strangely close-minded and judgmental about Chameleon Lass. I'm not saying I'd choose differently in his place or at his age; there was dishonesty on her part. AND her job is a big impediment. But a nerdy girl who likes kissing doesn't beam in every day, man! And more importantly: Two Words.

Shape. Shifter.

Who would be so quick to dump a Royal who can list her measurements as: ANY?

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