Distant Voices

**** (4 stars out of 5)

Having just turned 36, I find that Bashir's grumpiness about turning 30 gets funnier all the time. And sadder. No matter the number, you're only as old as you feel. And being old sucks butt.

A drug-seeking Lethean named Altovar fires Sith lightning into Julien's brain during a robbery attempt.

The world goes all cattywampus. The station's lights and computers are futzed, everyone's missing or acting strangely, and Bashir ages ever more rapidly. Altovar picks off the remaining crew one by one. Even ODO is reduced to a literal puddle in terror of the Lethean.

And like a certain Craven killer, one with a messed up face and knifey finger gloves built right in, the Lethean's got rather a lot of power over everything in this warped reality.  Bashir soon finds himself a tennis-playing centenarian limping around with extra-malevolent Garak not very helpfully at his side.

Soon a dabo girl is breathily singing 'Happy Birthday, Dr. President' while Garak sings 'Dem Bones'.
Can a Geriatric Kung Fu Hamster like Bashir get the better of the dreadlock-free Predator?

"Distant Voices" was an old-time favourite, and I do mean OLD time. This viewing didn't seem like a five star experience any longer, although I still really enjoyed it. Limping along on plantar fasciitis, I find it harder to believe that Dr. Bashir thinks he can hop around on a broken hip. But, what the hell. He's still a loveable hero and a better-looking crusty old bloke than Noonien Soong. Happy Birthday, Julian!