Saturday, August 11, 2012


**** (4 stars out of 5)
Unless no episode will ever feature the Defiant again, this title is about as useful as the episode called 'Cardassians'. But, like 'Cardassians' it's a great story and I'm here to spoil it for you. You're welcome!

Overworked Kira meets a familiar bearded face. Riker! He's visiting DS9 on his way to Risa and he and Kira have a pleasant evening's "conversation". (Yeah, it was probably just a conversation. But where would we be without innuendo?) Somehow, despite Riker's up-to-date commbadge, he doesn't mention the crash of the Enterprise. What gives? Riker vaguely remembers Dax, and dismisses O'Brien gruffly, but he just LOVES Kira... and her free tour of the trustingly empty Defiant.

Especially the part where she releases the security right before he stuns her. And not with his beard: IT'S FAKE! He's got a goatee... MIRROR UNIVERSE! Nope, wrong again. He's the latest Maquis in the Badlands: TOM Riker from 'Second Chances', kids! He left his post on the Gandhi and hooked up with Ro's chum Kalita and the rest of those plucky Cardie-blasting outlaws. Yes, the Maquis are still a thing!

Dukat, when informed, believes only the destruction of the Defiant will suffice. He, Sisko, and shifty Obsidian Order agent Korinas plot against the runaway warship from a bunker on Cardassia. Dukat misses his son Mekor's 11th birthday. He tells Sisko how SAD it is that Mekor will look back on this with hatred for the Federation. (But if that's so sad, why did you raise your kids to be so hateful, man?)

Apparently, the cloaking device is really, really, REALLY user friendly. The Maquis don't have that cheerful Romulan technician gal with them. (Is she even still around?) It must have a big ON/OFF switch or something. Anyhoo, even held hostage, Kira manages to slow the starship down by blowing up her replicator. With her shoulder pad. (I think?) Tom Riker's mad quest for personal distinction does ultimately expose the hypocritical, illegal fleet built by the Obsidian Order. But the Cardassians can be trusted not to use THAT, right? Let's not think about it.

Sisko gets Dukat to return the Defiant and the Maquis for Federation trials (yes, Defiant has the right to a fair trial, just like the horrible wedding-exploding drones of our time) in exchange for sensor records of the forbidden spy fleet, and wins life imprisonment for Tom Riker in the Lazon II labour camp. Yes, that's the best they could do, why do you ask? He even won a copy of 'Steal The Defiant' the home game.

Kira promises to rescue Tom, and he kisses her good-bye.

"Defiant" has an exciting story arc that never arced anywhere, although I'll get to the novels SOMEDAY. And I'd be flabbergasted if no-body ever followed up on Rogue Riker, despite TV dropping the ball.

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