Monday, April 30, 2012

Man of The People

** (2 stars out of 5)

Deanna Troi, Super-Bitch!

If that sounds appealing, this is the episode for you. Otherwise, well, coin a phrase, WTF?

Ambassador Ves Alcar is a Lumerian. He sports a forehead tramp stamp, limited empathic powers, and a suitcase filled to the brim with Douche.

Ladies, should a Lumerian offer to touch your Pet Rock with his Pet Rock, I encourage you to punch his junk like he was a Ullian historian.  Anyone duped into his ceremony becomes a psychic dumping ground. While this dink stays serene and suave, his receptacles whore themselves up, then crumble away into decrepitude.

He's come aboard to trade up from his last model, who's just about ready for an oven in a gingerbread house.

Guess which empathic Counsellor naively indulges in a "funeral rite" for Alcar's dead "mother"?

On the prowl like she's a bike messenger with cat DNA, Troi treats her meek patient Ensign Janeway like crap, and jumps the bones of some young guy she bumps into in the lift.  Also, she claws Riker's face, and takes a stab at Alcar. Literally.

Picard and Crusher get wise to the chump. Picard waggles his finger and launches into a lecture. Why? Can't we just torpedo this vampire back to hell like on Devidia II last month?

Instead, even more magically than usual, Troi returns to normal somehow when Crusher temporarily kills her. Alcar Dorian Greys it up to Full Cryptkeeper and dies Walter Donovan-style from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

Was this guy the only one with this ability? Where did the rock come from? How come the other Lumerians are oblivious? I can understand how Troi got fooled, she's not from there. But his next victim seemed like a clever lass. She's from his world. Wouldn't she say, hey, wait a minute, that's not a Solemn Reflection Stone, that's a Slutty Death-Conduit Rock! Screw you, Draculon!

"Man of The People" is easily the worst episode of the season. Your experience may vary: it's certainly not Marina Sirtis's acting, or the make-up effects. I've read that the script was a rush job, and I was definitely aiming the blame torpedo in that direction.

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