Cost of Living

*** (3 stars out of 5)

Planet Tessen III is threatened by an asteroid, and a particle beam from the deflector dish explodes it where even a torpedo would have failed. Score one for the oft-maligned deflector dish!

Then Tinkerbell took a dump on the ship or something. It's rather unclear.

Troi counsels Alexander and Worf to pick up their clothes and stop yelling because Mommy has a headache.

Speaking of mommies, Lwaxana Troi is about to marry Judge Campio of Kostolain. He's royal, well-bred, snooty-to-the-max, and they only just met online. Red Flag. RED FLAG!

Mama Lwaxana, rather than face how intolerable a relationship with dour future Megabyte Tony Jay would be, decides to run off with truant Alexander and play filthy hippies in a holodeck mud bath.

Worf and Deanna huff in exasperation, and put their hands on their hips, and stomp their feet. Oh, infants and oldsters, always conspiring to slack off!

The fairy dump from earlier turns out to be Nitrium Metal Parasites, eating important circuits and leaving great dollops of retro-mutagen ooze behind. Crewmen are told to watch their teenage turtles for signs of interest in pizza.

After the standard nerds drive out the B-story, Merry Widow Troi figures out a way to let her true self shine through.

She turns out for her wedding insouciantly (but culturally appropriately) in the buff.  Campio's protocol minister is scandalized, SCANDALIZED I SAY! and he flees with the groom. Hey, maybe he just wanted Campio for himself. Tell me you don't want to nibble those giant Kostolain earlobes. 

 "Cost of Living" is not the best written comedy story ever, but I do love Majel and it's always a pleasure to see Mrs. Troi. She gets to play the insanely overindulgent Party Grandma, and a moment or two of seemingly genuine loneliness tugs the heartstrings, too. Kudos!