Monday, December 12, 2011


* (1 star out of 5)

Meet Honorary Commander Ari bn "Bem" of the recently contacted Pandronians of planet Pandro.

He's an arrogant, preening ass. I mean it. I hate him. Not on sight. I love new aliens. But almost the second he opens his green gob. Strutting, insufferable prig.

He's tagging along, untrained, on the highly sensitive monitoring mission on Delta Theta III with possible dangerous lifeforms.

"Every planet is dangerous to the ignorant." sniffs Bem, re-affirming that it takes one to know one. Oh, and he constantly calls himself "This one". It's instantly irritating and it never stops.

Bem beams the crew into a lake and steals their equipment. For fun?

Later in the jungle, Bem disobeys Kirk by racing off on his own. Moments later he is captured by the local Sleestacks. What a load. The rescue attempt gets Kirk and Spock captured, too.

Bem is "observing", could have escaped at any time. Disassembles himself to return the stolen phasers. Spock identifies him as a colony creature. That much I understand, but what goes into making him such a tool?

Somehow, Kirk needs Spock to keep watch while he phasers bamboo locks. Why does this require any time at all, let alone multiple shots? It's frickin' wood!

Kirk apologizes to the miffed godlike ruling entity of Delta Theta III for intruding (but not for bringing Bem) and promises never to return.

Bem is nerd lingo for 'Bug-Eyed Monster'.
It is also the name of the naturally predatory but spiritually reformed alien Magog Rev Bem on 'Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda'.
It is a measure of how little I enjoy this story that I'd rather be watching 'Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda'. Maybe not the later seasons, but almost anything from seasons 1 & 2. Yecch.

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