Friday's Child

** (2 stars out of 5)

"Friday's Child" is full of woe, so they say. This story is no exception. It's wobbly and silly-looking, not in a good way.

Granted, it's got a lot of location filming, usually something I welcome, but despite D.C. Fontana and Gene Roddenberry doing the writing I can't get behind it.

Maybe it's the warrior culture of Capella IV. They can't decide whether they'd rather ally with the Klingons or the Federation. On the one hand, they have a brutal tradition of strength, weaponry, and male domination. On the other, they have the fabulous gay dress sense that might make them more at home in the Federation.

Then again, Klingon envoy Kras is one of the least Klingon-y Klingons you'd care to meet. He's the shortest man in the room, a cowardly liar, and not in the least swarthy. My wife believes the only sign he is a Klingon is his shiny, shiny pants.

How long does it take to give up? McCoy says he was stationed on this world for only a few months because the Capellans are totally uninterested in medicine and hospitals. Seems like a few months that Bones could have spent somewhere where people give a crap.

Capellan leader Teer Akaar dies conveniently in a skirmish between the factions and ambitious Maab takes his place. When Maab moves to kill Akaar's pregnant lady, Elieen, Kirk intervenes and earns death in their eyes, especially hers, for daring to touch her.

Kirk, Spock, & Bones flee into the hills with this horrible load of a woman in tow. When Bones finally loses his cool and slaps her she seems to listen to him at last. Classy. And a fine moral for all young viewers: slaps get you respect.

Our heroes use communicator vibrations to start a styrofoam boulder avalanche, miraculously killing some of their pursuers somehow.

Scotty is off on a wild goose chase set by the Klingons looking for a non-existant freighter in distress, but he works it out eventually.

McCoy delivers the baby, and while trying to force Elieen to emotionally accept it, he manages to adopt it. Elieen clobbers "Mah-Coy" with a rock and leaves the baby when she flees back to her charming tribe.

Kirk and Spock take on all comers with improvised bows and arrows, including phaser-armed Kras. I have a hard time being convinced by the whole thing.

Elieen names the boy for Leonard, James, & Akaar, becomes the child's regent and signs the mining treaty with the Federation.