***(3 big lies out of 5)
The poor Kelpians have every right under the equitable Ba'ul system! In the Great Balance all people can scoop up kelp to eat, enjoy the outdoors, worship the benevolent Watchful Eye, and die horribly at the onset of space puberty to feed the just and fair Ba'ul.
Was it always thus? Lo, these thousands of years ago, Kelpians were real ass-hats after space puberty and they were predators to the Ba'ul, probably. So, it's all for the best and since the Kelpians haven't been permitted the chance to develop anything more advanced than baskets they CERTAINLY don't qualify for Starfleet defense against the warp-capable Ba'ul.
In fact, Starfleet didn't see nothin' and they better move along because the Ba'ul have full bellies (or whatever the equivalent is in a rod puppet covered in mucilage and ink or whatever the heck is happening there) and great big guns.
Michael and Saru pay a nonchalant call on Saru's priestly sister Siranna and have some tea and make some waves and get the Ba'ul nervous enough to try to buy their silence with a free dissection.
Saru's new lease on life has grown him bigger claws in the form of neck darts, and he more or less forces this same transformation upon a goodly portion of the entire unsuspecting populace of Kelpians with some quick button pressing. Fortunately no one has enough time to kill themselves as Saru had intended to do when this happened to him.
Also fortunately, the Red Angel appears and deactivates the Ba'ul's big guns, barely an inconvenience, don't even worry about it.
Kaminar's Cattle learn painfully today that they don't need to die at va'harai and that the Ba'ul had better switch to beef alternatives right goddamn yesterday.
Vive la Revolution!
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