Miri

** (2 stars out of 5)

Enterprise runs across the first of many "exact duplicates of Earth". "Not THE Earth. ANOTHER Earth."

Turns out they are ten for a penny, cheap like borscht. It even has THE SAME CONTINENTS. Why? Is that weird?

It's an Earth that died of plague in its 1960's. The landing party are attacked by a dying creature when they approach his only possession. "It's broke... somebody please fix." The plaintive cry of a centuries-old child crumbling to dust beside a rusty tricycle. My heart still catches in my throat a little at that scene.

Dear everybody- please don't make biological weapons. Thanks.

Love, Mike.

300 years ago, an engineered virus for life prolongation bestowed it: but only on children. The disease killed all the adults and caused the kids to age one month per every century since. Once they reach puberty, however, they grow blue splotches, go crazy, and die. Our adult explorers have one week to live.

I love the bit when Kirk tells McCoy and Spock to make a vaccine, and Dr. McCoy comes back, deadpan, with: "Is that all, Captain? We have 5 days, you know."

McCoy is awesome. And you know he's gonna prevail.

Still, they ARE easily bamboozled out of their communicators by Feral Boy, I mean Jahn. How hard is it to keep them on your belts, guys?

One of these 'Onlies' is called Miri, and she's nearly a grown-up, and she helps where she can 'cause she's gots a crush on da Captain. As ever. The man can't go anywhere without dames flipping for him.

At first, I find the chants and rhymes of the aged kids eerie, but it quickly gets VERY irritating. They jibber, they jabber, nyah nyah-nyah nyah nyah, Grups & Foolies, Olly olly oxen free, bonk bonk bonk bonk blah blah blah.

I echo Kirk "NO BLAH BLAH BLAH!" I get it. Post-apocalyptic dust bowl, edge of starvation. You've had it rough.

But you've had all this time, no distractions, no jobs, no sex drives... AND YOU DON'T READ. Not CAN'T. DON'T.

I guess they ARE exact duplicates of American children. Ba-zinga!