Friday, September 23, 2011

The Galileo Seven

**** (4 stars out of 5)

'The Galileo Seven' is tense, clever, and thrilling. I have fond memories, and for me, at least, they still hold up.

Due to pick up medicine from Makus III to deliver to the plague-ridden New Paris colonies, the Enterprise made a slight detour to study the Murasaki 312 quasar. And to repair the hole in the bucket they'll need to swallow a spider to catch the fly. I don't know why they swallowed a fly.

A sudden ionization effect shorts out most of the instruments and causes them to lose shuttlecraft Galileo. On board: our fondly familiar friends Latimer, Mears, Scotty, Gaetano, McCoy, Boma, & Spock. A 24-foot shuttle lost. Galactic Commissioner Ferris insists they stick to the schedule. Sorry, I meant Galactic Ass-Hat. Seriously, you guys, who smiles at the news of seven lost people?

Uhura locates the right planet, Taurus II, despite the equipment all being down. (I think she proves in moments like this that she's not just for answering phones.) A futile search shuttle goes out to try to find that proverbial haystack needle.

It may be noted here that I'm in love with this shuttlecraft. Were it not for my lovely wife and the laws of men and gods, this shuttlecraft and I would have strong, boxy, metallic babies.

To lift off from Taurus II Scotty will need to improvise fuel from the phasers, and they'll have to lighten the load by 500 pounds. On the downside (AND the upside) two of them are killed almost immediately! Latimer gets the biggest spear in the back you ever saw. Like a telephone pole! Gaetano is savaged by a terribly unconvincing class 480-G anthropoid (big cave man, to the lay peeps).

Now it's starting to look like either the pretty girl or the insubordinate black guy will have to stay behind... if only Latimer had been fattimer!

Back on the bridge, Ferris stands over Kirk banging his pocket watch against the back of the Captain's head.

Tensions run high as a ratty-looking giant alien bangs equally unconvincing rocks against the roof. Great lines, well delivered, as Boma & McCoy butt heads with their ultra-logical commander.

I have to admit I side with Spock on the subject of fixing the ship BEFORE the burial ceremony. It sucks, but the humans seem extra irrational today: very, very eager to saunter out, dig some graves, bow their heads and get a GIANT SPEAR in the eye! At least Scotty seems focused on his work, and Mears is finding boxes of pretty shoes and hats she might live without (kidding).

Oh, it turns out Ferris is a HIGH Commissioner. That explains it. Probably has the munchies. Enterprise gives up, but moves off as slowly as space-normal speed permits- just in case.

The Galileo finally takes to the heavens, tenacious monkey bastards clinging to the tailpipe, but they've got scant time before they'll fall back into the atmosphere & burn up.

So logical Spock logically makes a big desperate gamble: igniting their fuel as a flare... a gorgeous damn CGI flare!
He's made a human choice at last: and earned McCoy's respect. Just as the shuttle plummets- Enterprise beams the five of them out and they all have a good laugh at Spock's expense. Just you wait, humans. One of these days that guy is gonna snap and spear you good.

Quick question: with the rescue complete, why does Kirk set out at a mere Warp One? There IS a plague on, man!

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