The Red Angel

 **(2 red angels out of 5)

Depending on what the vague images of autopsy and funeral mean, Dr. Pollard probably did everything she could and/or intentionally deleted Airiam’s digital memories to stop the AI Control’s infection. 

Everyone bonds over Airiam's funeral, including Michael & Nhan, Michael & surrogate-surrogate-mom Georgiou (interplanetary genocidal mass murderer), and Michael & handsome Ash (who ate the righteous version of Georgiou). Also both Ash and Georgiou are working for the dirty tricks squad who are most directly responsible for Control and thereby Airiam's death, so they should always be involved in all of our efforts to fight Control.

Tilly brings a bombshell from Airiam’s files- the Red Angel is Michael.

Because sick days and mental health days don't exist, Dr. Culber is back at work. He's getting some therapy regarding his separation from Cdr. Stamets. This advice comes from Admiral Cornwell, the paragon of making good choices in love. Also on the subject of love, Georgiou claims she’s had both Culber and Stamets, whose Mirror Universe selves were pansexual rather than gay. And Michael kisses on Ash for reasons that escape me. For handsomeness, I think.

Leland reveals that Michael’s parents were not killed because Klingons kill and eat parents whenever girls like telescopes and science, but because Section 31 and Leland personally had the Burnhams building a classified, wormhole-based, winged, time-travel spacesuit powered with a stolen Klingon time crystal. Michael clobbers Leland real good.

To set a trap for the Future Michael, they agree to kill the Present Michael as slowly and painfully as possible with toxic atmosphere and radiation, as you do. It's so horrible that everyone tries to back out except Spock, who pulls a gun to make sure no one will save Michael except the Red Angel. Which happens after the last possible second, but the Red Angel who zaps Michael back to life is Michael's mom instead.

And then Control stabs Leland in the eyes. There doesn't seem to be a reason. For handsomeness, I think.

New Eden

 *** (3 stars out of 5)

Discovery is chasing down the Red Blue Blur... uh, Red Angel phenomenon observed by both Spock and his sister Michael. Seven to find. Gotta catch em all!

Spock’s been secretly but voluntarily committed to psychiatric unit in Starbase 5. Did season 1 drive him mad like it’s done me? Whatever the cause, we’re going to follow Spock’s nightmare journals and keep toying with Fun Guy Stamets’ mental health on the fungi high speed highway. 

Their first stop is Beta Quadrant, 150 years away at conventional warp, essentially impossible without the spore drive which we’ve sworn off now because it takes a horrible toll on the human interface. Who has just lost the love of his life and is talking disconcertingly about suicide. Just one more trip couldn’t hurt. 

Unless you count hurting Tilley who’s looking for a means to spare Stamets with more mad science. Concussion watch: 2. Tilley just about dies while getting her rocks off a dark matter asteroid with enough Metrion particles to slay the Talaxians. 

What luck! It’s another pre-warp human society subject to General Order 1. We can do some covert ops with the help of Joann Owosekun, raised in a Luddite collective which I still hope to hear anything about someday.

Pike put chairs in the ready room, the better to subtly promise that people will try to talk more. Pike says he’s from a confusing household because his father taught science and comparative religion. Michael inwardly, logically, says hold my Vulcan ale.

If you believe Pike, Clarke’s Third Law was garbled by churchies into basically “Any powerful spaceman is God.” I am very much on the side of Michael’s interpretation using Arthur Clarke’s original words. It makes me worry that the people Pike is talking about would still be worshipping the Vulcans. But Michael strikes me as admirably diplomatic here. 

“I’ll scan the text...” says Burnham, logically. “Or we could look at the pictures.” muses Pike. Do you want an illiterate populace like the Star Wars galaxy? Cause this is how you get an illiterate populace like the Star Wars galaxy. Of course, the pictures Pike is talking about are church windows, and I’m glad the ancient litany of G.I. Joe cartoons are still being taught and represented in stained glass. In 2053, a red angel saw a church, saw a steeple, opened a wormhole and carried off hundreds of panicked people. Away from the nuke-dropping jets of World War Three to planet Terralysium where they relied on a buffet-style combo religion more than ever. Oh, good! Religion never hurts anyone! 

The All-Mother of New Eden doesn’t appear bothered that nobody has managed to recreate the electric light for 200 years, or that as far as they know humanity is virtually extinct, she leaves those concerns to fringe science types like Jacob. Also, a kid immediately plays with a phaser forcing Pike to play Captain America. The jumping on the grenade part, not the plentiful guns lying around for everyone part.

Did Dr. Pollard save the Hiawatha survivors from last episode? I would dearly love to know if Jett Reno’s unconventional first aid had worked or was only there for the gross-out factor.

Tilley is seeing the ghost of her old school chum May Ahearn who has an in-joke about “Lunches like mini earthquakes. Bounce, bounce, bounce.” For some reason, May repeatedly calls her “Stilly”. Is it because she built a still? That would make your stomach bounce.

Apparently Earth had stun grenades in 2053 and they’re still good after 2 centuries in a dank basement, like the video records from a soldier’s helmet cam for which Pike breaks cover, trading Jacob a power cell to run the church lights.

Detmer’s had her pilot’s license since 12, and you’d think Saru might know that by now, but Lorca horsewhipped people for making small talk. Saru has learned 90 Federation languages to impress people at the parties he never attends. And I love it when they give him opportunities to be brave & kind.