Runaway

** (2 out of 5)

Tilly's step-monster (a faceless authoritarian caricature and anachronistic hologram that is now ST:Discovery's hallmark) reminds her that she's a heap of worthless garbage and should never aspire to anything. I'm paraphrasing slightly. Soon, demoralized Tilley is in a midnight food-fight with Leluminai Lekatariba Lamina-Tchai Ekbat De Sabat...'s feral cousin. Lurchingly atonal hilarity ensues.

The awkward cadet and the fierce stowaway get all sugared up and quietly tip-toe through the sleeping ship, off to Tilly's bedroom... for a verbal competition to see which is the nerdiest scofflaw, who's mom is the worst mom, and who has the most head-scratching back story. Then, all without telling any grown-ups, the two giggling girls exchange shiny jewelry and Tilly apparently beams her new pal out into the empty void! Where she... wove monofilament wings from her own sense of self worth and swam home? I guess?

Discovery desperately needs more laughs, so I really do applaud the effort at comedy here. I admire these enthusiastic performances, and the message of sisterhood, but... the writing and especially the Trek continuity is... awfully dodgy.

If Me Hani Ika Hali Ka Po built a translator as a child, WHY DID SHE NOT BRING IT ALONG? Why would she want to present herself to strangers as a hissing, intermittently spiky, food-throwing Tasmanian Devil? And what's her end game? Was she HOPING to get herself shot? Because that's what Lorca or Notorious Emperor G would've done if she'd snuck up behind THEM making weird cat noises- in a hot minute! Was she literally just in Predator cosplay? And... how did Po mess with the food slots and the computer screens? Is she a Magic Glitch Princess on top of everything?

Prime Universe matter transporters of this time period are limited to a planetary orbital range. So... if they were orbiting Po's planet why doesn't Tilly seem to know about it? Is this finally a direct admission that we're in the same universe as 'Into Darkness', where interplanetary beaming is even a thing?

And are the transporter rooms really TOTALLY UNATTENDED at night so any over-caffeinated ginger goofball can just pop in and beam strategically valuable Space Queens/Engineering Supergeniuses/Invisible Telekinetic Hedgehogs anywhere they please?

Thank you Super Anemic for the meme which I busted a gut over and swiped.