Rajiin

*** (3 stars out of 5)
The Xindi Conspirators bicker on, with their pet Oppenheimer Degra expressing some mild doubts about the implications of his planet-destroying kill-a-majig. The Repto-Xindi go to plan 'B'... for "boobs".

Still itchy and flaky from Salamander Day, Archer the Grouch turns down delicious Xanthan marmot to find slimy chemist B'Rat Ud and learn to synthesize insulating trellium-D in exchange for an array of exotic condiments from the far east... side of the cargo bay. Did you follow any of that? Boils down to an excuse to browse a sleazy market and ogle harem girls.

Utani serpent women? Bored-looking Nuvian concubines? No sex, please, we're Earthers. Rajiin of Oran'taku is rescued from a hideous pimp with lungs for brains. Not a euphemism, I think the man breathes through his forehead. You could probably kill him with the gift of a beer hat.

Yay, Free Hooker! Pretty Woman sashays her way Mata Hari-style through the command structure on a vital mission to feel up Archer, Hoshi, T'Pol... basically anyone who might improve the ratings... uh, scan. "Rajiin" is some sort of living scanner- who turns all her findings over to the Snake-Men cooking up viruses. Bored with sapphic displays, she goes on an unmotivated shooting spree, as you do when you work for Xindi.

Speak of the devils and they shall appear, in their insect skin armour borrowed from the Remans of Nemesis, and wielding guns that fire acid snot and little darts of light. Pray you get hit by the snot! Reptile Xindi can't be captured alive: they are surgically enhanced with "suicide glands". Why didn't they offer the use of those glands to the audience during Star Trek Nemesis? And, continuing in my single biggest complaint of the season, probably- if you're going to use catspaws and hired goons and intermediaries ANYWAY why not have the Big Bad be the Romulans? You know you want to.

Cogenitor

**** (4 stars out of 5)
At last- a friendly face! The technologically advanced and genial Vissians welcome Captain Archer. Their Captain Drennik exudes none of the menace of his identical cousin Tomalak, though he shares certain similarities with former Narn arms dealer G'Kar. It seems this first contact was essential in gaining Enterprise some shiny new photonic torpedoes! Pa-chew!

But words can be weapons as well. While Reed is putting his patented moves (like Jagger's: old and tired) on the Vissian lady with the nice torpedoes, Trip sees a wrong that needs righting and ruins some poor bastard's life.

Well, a poor soul, neither male nor female. Vissians are like the Tenctonese in that regard: it takes three to tango. Unlike the good folks on Alien Nation, however, we see the affluent male and female couple trying to conceive, and the third gender cogenitor who makes it all possible. A tiny minority, essential to the very fabric of life, but kept nameless, uneducated, and in the back of a closet. Treated with no more respect or dignity than a dildo in a drab jumpsuit.

Much as the primarily human audience does, Trip finds this state of affairs deeply uncool. And yet his efforts to set things right could not have failed more tragically if this were a teen drama on the WB.

"Cogenitor", like Trek classics of yore, got me passionately WONDERING things! In the words of Q: "Shall we discuss your rapid progress?" The Vissians were a thousand years between breaking warp and diving into suns. We know humans will achieve this in only 200. Is there a reason humans are doing better, faster, or are they simply en route to Professor Galen's "dull and bloated empire"?
Is it informative that Archer casually compares Vissia to Singapore?
Trip seems to be pushing for reasonable, just, and equal treatment. But it's the pushing itself that costs the cogenitor's life.  I'd rather blame the Vissians than Trip, myself. If a DAY of someone being NICE to them is enough to send one over the edge, I'm surprised they have any left at all.
But then again, the Cogenitor didn't ask for a new belief system. The Prime Directive seems very, VERY necessary today, not just that arbitrary suggestion Captain Kirk always stepped over whenever he knew best. The scene between remorseful Tucker and enraged Archer is always painful viewing. It's a sobering story, surprisingly effective.

Wrongs Darker Than Death or Night

*** (3 stars out of 5)

In the wise words of my good friend and colleague Ron Gleason: "There's no worse career than Assistant Crack Whore." Major Kira discovers the truth of this while time travelling into her mother's past.

 A midnight video call from that bastion of honesty and mental health S.G. Dukat reveals an unappetizing "truth". Kira Meru was his lover... for years.

Umm... would you take the word of Hitler, tooling around a war zone in a VW bug? (And you'd think Starfleet could track its own stolen shuttles, but Dukat seems to continue to elude everyone. Insanity must work like a cloaking device.)

Kira again uses the Orb of Time, but now the only funny tribbles are in Dukat's pants.

Evading soup muggers, "Luma Rahl" briefly meets her infant self, and is quickly 'procured' as a "comfort woman" alongside her mom. "Linger as long as you want in the sonic showers." says Basso, formerly from the movie UHF. "Cardassians value cleanliness." Oh, Basso, you sleaze. Why didn't you stay in television with your pal Weird Al? U62 was a broken-down station, too, but at least there the goings-on weren't so unsavoury.

Prefect Dukat is full of honeyed words about bridging the gulf between their peoples. Of course, he'd be easier to like if he wasn't running a rape dungeon orbiting a slave world.

Despite literally walking a mile in her mother's high-heeled shoes, Kira can only take the hard line that she should have died before "collaborating". Or can she? One thing's for sure: nobody's forgiving Dukat anytime soon.

"Wrongs Darker Than Death or Night" in the words of Dax: "It'll be the grimmest party you've ever been to..."