Awakening

*** (3 stars out of 5)

Yesterday's wacky Vulcan hermit is today's holy pilgrim as that guy Arev who died touching Archer's face and saying "Remember" turns out to have been Syrran. His disciples, hiding in caves from the High Command's drone planes, include T'Pol's mom and a young T'Pau (not the eighties pop group).

T'Pau gets it on with Archer (psychically, of course) to find the soul of Surak (the Vulcan Jesus) which Syrran thoughtfully tucked away in Archer's mind before he died of sand lightning. Difficult as it might be for the audience to comprehend, most Vulcans seem to have forgotten they even HAVE downloadable souls, and also lost track of Surak's katric ark (soul jar) for a couple of thousand years. In visions, Surak urges Archer to put his planet back on the right track. (The one with all that peace, love, and understanding jazz birthday-boy Gene was always on about.)

Previously the Black Hat when it came to humanity, Ambassador Soval lets slip that he's always kind of liked those stinky blunt-eared jerks. Soval takes Charles Tucker's side in the investigation into the bombing that is starting to look more and more like a government frame-up. Certainly when you press them on it, the government is quick to bomb more things, including T'Pol's mom.

"Awakening" implies sweeping changes will come to the world of Vulcan once word gets out that Surak's teachings have been corrupted or ignored. One of those sweeping changes is apparently that T'Pau will develop a thick accent and a much deeper prejudice against humans. Go figure. Then again, T'Pau is probably a common name. "T'Pau of Shirkahr" may be the equivalent of "Debbie from Dallas".

Fallen Hero

*** (3 stars out of 5)

We now return you to our spit-take already in progress. Archer and Tucker are taken aback at T'Pol's abrupt suggestion that they get laid immediately. To improve ship's efficiency, she's already arranged a little something-something.  You know, like Spock and Tuvok always used to do for THEIR Captains. (Well, in Fan Fic, anyway.) To that end she sets a course for Risa... planet of triple-cupped tri-kinis, double-pouched speedos, and next-day regret.

Still, before we get TOO excited, here's a bland, well-trod story about Vulcan politics. V'Lar was ambassador to the Mazarites, and role model to T'Pol. T'Pol once asked V'Lar to autograph her still-unopened shrink-wrapped copy of Seven Logical Mating Positions To Be Used Once Each for the First 49 Years of Your Adult Life. (The title loses something in the translation.) But the starry-eyed, puffy-lipped young T'Pol was too terrified to approach when V'Lar offered her a hearty handshake. She offers them to everyone- Curzon Dax and Noonien Soong spring to mind for some reason.

Enterprise must escort the diplomat safely to the rendezvous with the Vulcan ship Sh'Raan. (That loveable Andorian commando is so rad even his enemies name ships after him!)

The nonsensical plan here enacted is that since V'Lar is key witness in a corruption scandal on Mazar, the "Fallen Hero" must come under a false cloud of suspicion herself, be spirited away by third party humans, and when the heat dies down, pop back up again at the trial... and still seem credible. Riiight.

Fortunately, this will probably work: if the hired goons sent to rub her out are any indication of Mazarite intellect. Firing blindly into Phlox's imaging chamber, waiting for the vital signs monitor to stop bleeping, then walking out without checking for a corpse seems like a shoddy work ethic. They probably attended the Rocksteady and Bebop School for Whackin' Dem Pesky Toitles.

Rise

*** (3 stars out of 5)

Some dull guys in dull suits sit in on Voyager's attempt to shoot down an asteroid storm threatening their dull planet. Mighty big of them. Sorry, dull of them.

Neelix is so nervous about training with Tuvok on an away team he can barely work his knapsack. They are collaborating with exogeologist Sklar when their shuttle crashes, right on schedule. If a Voyager shuttle is crashing, it must be Thursday.

A 300 kilometer high orbital tether with a magnetic leverage carriage is their way back into comm range. Neelix worked on carriages like this on Rinax (only they were 1/10 scale models from Galoob). Tuvok, Neelix and their motley handful of local ne'er-do-wells ride the skyhook into the very sky itself!

What will kill them first? Twitchy Geologist? Cagey astrophysicist? Feral metallurgist? The burly guy with no stated degree or field of study?

The asteroids have guidance systems in their crunchy centres: that's because The Etanian Order is dropping the rocks on the Nezu people to claim their territory. (Ha, ha! Hilarious. NEEZOO. What a funny word. Say it with me. NEEZOO.)

Neelix names the mag-lev carriage for his adventurous sister Alixia, dead lo, these many years. Vatm launches ahead of schedule, with automatic systems unfinished, not enough air, and also badly leaking. When Vatm is poisoned, it's a locked room murder mystery on a 47 kph death trap. Call it the Vertically Oriented Express.

Actually, the plot is based on the sixties movie Flight of the Phoenix, but there already was a Phoenix back in First Contact, so this one is just Flight of the Neelix.

"Rise" is no Galileo Seven, but it's trying. Neelix voices his long-simmering feeling that Tuvok is prejudiced against him, and you know what? That stinking ebullient hedgehog man might have a point there. The effects guys did a great job on the space elevator. But that's it, really. Very run of the mill.