Canamar

** (2 stars out of 5)

When Star Trek does Con Air, does that make it... KHAN Air?

Previously, Archer and Mayweather were arrested by Grat. Then Archer and Reed were arrested by Gosis. Now Archer and Tucker are arrested by Enolians. Firstly, they seem to get arrested a LOT for innocent people! Second, if I was this crew, I don't know if I'd get into a shuttle with Archer anymore.

Trip's moss-jowled seat-mate in the slave galley won't shut up. Perhaps (since the writer would go on to greater things with popular crime drama Breaking Bad) he's here for cooking space-meth? He likes Cardassian food, so he must be out of his mind. And speaking of food, the usually genial Tucker doesn't bother to swap his famous catfish recipes... the guy would probably take it personally.

Kuroda Lor-ehn, identical cousin to the Enterprise-D's empathic murder-suicide Walter Pierce, hijacks the rocket just as our heroes are about to be released. As a former Colonial Marine, Lor-ehn plans to escape, but kill everyone else in a horrible fiery crash on planet Tamaal, so Archer must find a way to out-think the brutal maniac. Well, out-PUNCH. There's not a lot of thinking here.

It was on, then it wasn't. I was watching it, then I wasn't. And yet I own every single hour of this drab, uninspiring season! We never learn what makes the "Canamar" prison so bad that Lor-ehn would rather burn alive than go back there. It must be as awful as Kandahar and Canada put together.

Detained

**** (4 stars out of 5)

Colonel Grat's people of Tandar Prime are at war with the Suliban Cabal, which means they detain anyone who looks like a cantaloupe and anyone who's standing in the cantaloupe aisle.

Captain Archer and Ensign Mayweather learn the hard way that the Tandarans feed their prisoners whatever gruel is left over from the Coridan prisoners.

Enterprise must use all T'Pol's charm, Trip's diplomacy, Phlox's cosmetic surgery, and thereby Reed's Suliban face and Malaysian know-how to spring their buddies and also a bunch of innocent aliens from the desert. Tucker would rather not have to explain punch lines like "electric chair" to a Vulcan.

The Cabal began their attacks 8 years ago. All Suliban in Tandaran territory were rounded up into internment camps for their own protection, you understand. The Suliban homeworld became uninhabitable 300 years ago. Thus most Suliban are dispirited nomads who don't spend any time whatsoever turning invisible and sliding under doors to blow things up.

Still, how could you know that for sure unless you put little girls in jail?

Colonel Grat is the hero of "Detained", or rather Dean Stockwell is, tapping away on a Ziggy Box and asking Sam Beck... uh, Archer about the future. It's not much of a leap to the terrified, racist time America has been having this last decade and for quite a lot of decades before that. Whether your parallel prisoners are Apache, Japanese-Americans, or anyone brown, the story is the same, and usually didn't end in daring and visually exciting break-outs with lasers. Not terribly subtle, but still a brave effort.

Repentance

*** (3 stars out of 5)

Voyager plays host to a batch of Warden Yediq's cruel Nygean prison guards and their equally tormented charges. It's like a cheerful, brightly coloured Oz. The rape-y one, not the Disney one. Actually, I haven't seen either. I have no idea what I'm talking about! Why should TODAY be any different?

Repairing hardened criminal Iko after a savage beating from the jerk guards, the Doctor's ubiquitous use of nanoprobes fixes the man's brain, incidentally and accidentally(?) healing the birth defect which made him violent and sociopathic in the first place. I don't mean to harp on, but when Dr. Crusher said the brain was mapped, I'd think a lot fewer Amazing Brain Things would simply happen BY MISTAKE.

Seven of Nine takes Iko's part. Not like THAT! I mean... she takes his side. She has known a lot of suffering as both abuser and abused. She can see both sides to the issues of culpability and atonement with that artificial eye.

Instead of judges, sentences are set by the victim's families. This is actually kind of a good idea... unless the criminal can't afford leniency. Further, there's proven racial inequity when handing out death penalties to Benkaren inmates like Joleg. Neelix brings the food and mild outrage. 

Not to spoil anything, but Jeff "Tank Girl's Kangaroo Boyfriend" Kober does not get a happy ending.

"Repentance" never answers my biggest question: why does Voyager's crew build a bunch of archaic jail cells for their surly dinner guests intend of conserving resources and curtailing the chance of violence by simply digging the stasis chambers from "One" out of their closets?