In The Cards

***** (5 stars out of 5)

The opening shot is a bunch of frightened, depressed people grunting at each other in a grey room with copious amounts of alcohol. It's a Deep Space Nine Christmas!

Jake decides he needs to end his miserable father's wartime doldrums. And the perfect gift comes along from a derelict ship cargo auction Quark is hosting. Exactly the right thing for Ben Sisko: a mint condition 1951 Wilie Mays Rookie Baseball Card. 422 year old bubblegum not included.

Jake only has one small problem. "I'm human- I don't have any money."

Nog scoffs. "It's not my fault your species decided to abandon currency-based economics in favour of some philosophy of self-enhancement... If you don't need money than you certainly don't need mine."

Au contraire! Jake guilts Nog into contributing his latinum life savings to give the man who got him into the Academy "endless moments of happiness." The No-J Consortium is back in business!

They are quickly outbid by the ghost of Voyager's Ensign Peter Durst. Or his identical cousin Dr. Elias Giger.

Nog suggests that were Captain Sisko to put some new shoes on, suddenly everything would be right. Jake thinks there's nothing wrong with that idea except it would be stupid.

Giger gets twitchy when Jake and Nog approach him. "I won't be hounded by you and your soulless minions of orthodoxy. I haven't broken any laws... except the laws of nature." (Maybe he IS Durst's Zombie.)

He has been on a fifteen year quest to end death. He believes death is caused by cellular ennui: prevent cells from falling to boredom and you prevent aging and that minor unpleasantness that comes at the end of aging.

He'll trade the card for science equipment: which the Noh-Jay Consortium acquire with other trades. Doing O'Brien's chores so he can go kayaking. Stealing Dr. Bashir's teddy bear Kukalaka back from his ex-girlfriend Leeta. Cleaning distortion off Worf's opera recordings. Punching up Kira's thrill-a-minute speech to the minsters of agriculture.

I'm confused about who is on the side of right today. Is Nog only recovering Bashir's property from his soon-to-be evil stepmother, Leeta? Or from a poor woman who's life of desperation has led her to abscond with an adorable stuffed toy?

Giger's noisy machines, by unfortunate coincidence, are right below Dominion Minion Weyoun's room.

Meanwhile, The Dominion tries to sign a Non-Aggression Pact with Bajor. Winn reluctantly stalls in signing it on the Emissary's advice.

But when all is said and done, eveyone seems to come out ahead. Even mad, weird Weyoun and mad, weird Giger seem to be hitting it off. How touching that they have each found a friend! Of course, if Giger is more than just a kook they've just given the evil Dominion immortality.

"In The Cards" is one of those rare, non-dire DS9 stories. As Captain Sisko puts it: "Even in the darkest moments, you can always find something that will make you smile."

The Visitor

***** (5 stars out of 5)

Jake, Jake, Jake. You gotta take better care of yourself. You look like Candyman's Grandpa!

Old Jake Sisko lives in a bayou, and had only two books published in his lifetime. His dad died when Jake was only 18. And he's never been able to heal because his lost father never really goes away.

After disintegrating before his son's eyes, Ben Sisko momentarily reappears every so often, knocked out of alignment with time by a warp core accident. You gotta watch those Vonnegut plugs: they'll unstick you from time every time!

37-year-old Jake is finally happy again as a writer, married to a painter named Korena, and is still chums with Starfleet Commander Nog. But one visit from his drop-out dad, and Jake ditches writing to get a subspace physics doctorate to try to save him. (It's a tough discipline: you need to know how many beans make five, but in 12 dimensions and the beans are usually picked before they were planted. And there's a good chance of Solanagen-Based Lobster-Lizards eating your results. And face.)


50 years after Sisko vanished (and having lost Korena while buried in his work) Jake of 2422 joins forces with Captain Nog to get the Defiant, Jadzia, and Julian out of mothballs. Klingon High Councillor Worf lets them enter the occupied Bajor system. They wear the 'All Good Things...' uniforms. Uniforms that scream: THIS NEVER HAPPENED!

In the scant seconds they have together Ben begs his aging son to build a better life. Finally, Jake returned to his writing, and he's told this strange life story to his young fan Melanie. Jake has timed the moment of his death to coincide with Ben's return: cutting the cord between them is the only way to "snap" his dad back to just before the accident... and prevent it.

Like Drunk Tom in Harry Kim's alternate world from 'Non Sequitor', Jake gives everything in his life ... and then his life... all for the love of his father. Take that, Giving Tree!

"The Visitor" definitely deserved its Hugo nomination for Best Dramatic Presentation. If it had to lose to something, I'm glad it was Babylon 5.

Best line of the night: "I'm no writer, but if I were it seems to me I'd want to poke my head up every once in a while and take a look around, see what's going on. It's life, Jake. You can miss it if you don't open your eyes."