Lethe

*** (3 stars out of 5)

On a diplomatic mission to Cancri, Ambassador Sarek is attacked by his co-pilot: a Vulcan supremecist suicide bomber. It never rains but it pours... is something you never hear on planet Vulcan.

Specialist Michael Burnham is coaching Cadet Sylvia Tilly in the command skills of jogging and a balanced computer diet, and in return Tilly is coaching Michael in advanced theoretical boy kissing.

Boys such as Little Orphan Ash Tyler! Captain Lorca bonds with Ash over some laser tag. Quizzing the stressed torture survivor about his background, Lorca is mollified to hear he is from the normal human city of See’Attl. Lorca, popping every eye in the audience, immediately makes Lt Tyler his security chief. SECURITY? CHIEF???

Dying Sarek’s katra calls out to Michael for rescue & pulls her into his dream- his version of the events of Michael’s graduation day. The Vulcan Expeditionary Group (their minds as open as their arseholes) would only let ONE of Sarek’s weird kids join- so he chose Spock. Michael, top of her class, was forced into her Starfleet safety job. And it turned out great! Seven lonely years of moping up the command ranks followed by seven months moping in jail.

Does Captain Lorca’s ever increasing pile of odd choices seem like something that should maybe, just possibly, come under review? Well, Admiral Cornwell is his boss, and the words “come” and “under” ARE used when they pause to review his bedroom.

Cornwell discovers Lorca is quick to whip out his phaser & yes, he is happy to see her. He begs her not to take away his ship just because he's riddled with PTSD. But not to worry- he lies, stalls & schemes until she quite fortuitously is caught by the enemy while trying to finish Sarek’s task herself. Lorca rushes to her rescue... oh, no, not so much.

Michael is full of feelings & unlike Tilly she doesn’t "love feeling feelings". She goes to Ash Tyler for advice on being human. What a fine idea! He is THE SECURITY CHIEF!!!

Homefront

**** (4 stars out of 5)

UFP-Romulan peace talks are bombed by a some darn Changeling.  Federation President Jaresh-Inyo declares a planet-wide day of mourning. But based on the way he's kind of a humanoid cow, he probably does that every time McDonalds brings back the McRib.

Sisko and Odo go to San Francisco for 2,000 orders of Rice-A-Roni and end up embroiled in a conspiracy that makes the Blue Gill/Dexter Remmick Peaceful Coexistence Invasion of 2364 look like it was cooked up by a third grader. A third grader with a bigger budget and more bowls of live mealworms, but there you have it.

Admiral Leyton makes his Beard-Buddy Captain Sisko the Head of Starfleet Security. Together, they convince the Cow-Like President to implement blood screenings to ferret out intruders. Odo takes flight as a seagull. Cadet Nog badgers Captain Sisko. With all these ferrets and badgers, Odo almost misses a Leyton imposter.

Grampa Joe Sisko, Maker of Gumbo, objects to the blood tests so strenuously he nearly gets himself arrested. He points out that a clever shapeshifter could kill someone for their blood, store it inside themselves and let it out on cue for the testers. Then he has a stroke to prove he's not one! Drastic? You be the judge.

When Earth's entire power grid goes down, Leyton and Sisko argue the President into declaring martial law. Meanwhile, Jar Jar Binks proposen granten immediately emergency powahs to dee Supreme Chancellah!

In case you feel like you've seen "Homefront" somewhere before, Ben's former C.O. Admiral Leyton is a lot like Babylon Five's General Hague, who was also planning a coup against Earth's government. Of course, in Hague's case, it was a xenophobic dictatorship, while Leyton's overthrowing a meek, adorable Cow-President and his centuries of kind-hearted interstellar goodwill. For no raisin! Ben's dad Joe is the spitting image of traitorous Admiral Cartwright who conspired to kill his Federation President while framing the Klingons 80 years ago in 'Star Trek VI'. Finally, Leyton's adjutant Benteen is the identical cousin of Leah Brahms. But never fear: Brahms never planned a coup of anything... except Geordi's feelings.