Fight or Flight

*** (3 stars out of 5)

Before we get started, I neglected to complain yesterday about T'Pol's dialogue in 'Broken Bow'. Since writers Berman and Braga also wrote today's story, I will indulge myself anyway!

After slapping Trip down when he's trying to help in what looks a hell of a lot like two violent altercations, the Vulcan schoolmarm launches into an explanation of why the second one is not what he suspects. Then I imagine she MEANT to tell him to think more objectively, or to use more objectivity, but what she SAYS is: "You should learn to objectify other cultures." That can't be right, can it? Treat them as things without regard to their dignity? If only T'Pol wasn't such a know-it-all, maybe she could ask Hoshi for an English lesson.

But not today: today Hoshi is taking care of the sickly slug she has adopted! It soon becomes a metaphor for Ensign Sato's own utter unhappiness with space travel. And who could blame her? Their ACTUAL first contact is with a dozen corpses being drained for their arousing fluids by some unseen Lymph Vampires!

And speaking of arousing, Dr. Phlox is both avuncular and a little too interested in exploring humans. Or at least watching them explore each other! Still, he's following (or is that establishing?) a long and venerable tradition of pervy Starfleet doctors. How did Bev Crusher manage to avoid this terrible curse?

Since Stardates aren't a thing yet, we discover that it's May 6, 2151. Thanks to Hoshi's brilliantly unlikely ability to translate brand-new languages merely by hearing a few spoken words, first contact is established with the Axanar: androgynous Newt-Manoids with a four century lifespan. Which could mean one of these "guys" would later be killed by Starfleet's Captain Garth or pin a peace medal on Captain Kirk. (Probably not both, though.)

"Fight or Flight" begs the question: who has a SLUG for a pet? Wouldn't you rather be sneaking cheese to an adorable puppy than watching a banana slug ooze across something? Hey, I'm not being mean here. I'm just following that sanctimonious Vulcan chick's advice to objectify other cultures.

Riddles

*** (3 stars out of 5)

Fired upon while on a diplomatic mission, Tuvok's brain injuries give him amnesia and remove his emotional suppression. On the bright side, the mentally diminished version of Tuvok visibly enjoys himself. Like an inverted Flowers For Algernon minus the sex and heartbreak. Or like that time Fred Flintstone got conked on the noggin by a bowling ball.

Naroq of the Kesat believes the attack was the work of the invisible Ba'neth, the local Bigfoot myth. Bigtentacle, I guess you could call them. Naroq's the Fox Mulder of the tale, and he's going to help Scully Janeway track down the villain. Break out the tin foil hats and get the net: we're going to catch the Octopussy!

Neelix, meanwhile, decides he is a brain doctor. The smiles he's always longed to bring to Tuvok's face now come easily and frequently, but a broccoli from the Airponics Bay would be more qualified to run the tactical station. So, again like a reverse Charly from Algernon, Neelix trains Tuvok as a baker. All goes well... until Tuvok frosts a cake in the shape of his own cure.

"Riddles" is better than I remembered. It does manage to warm the heart and be a little sad, too. Be tolerant. Be compassionate. Rejoice in your level of ability and cherish your friends. Nuff said.