Prophecy

*** (3 stars out of 5)

What's that you say? Engine room full of Klingons? And they'll be no tribble at all?

Another of those antiquated wandering war-time Klingons pops up out of nowhere and attacks their Federation foes. Did someone leave the Coincidensity Generator running? Captain Janeway tells Captain Kohlar of the Khitomer Treaty signed and notarized, lo, these 80 years. But, the man is far more interested in the date of B'Elanna's conception. According to Seven's detailed surveillance records: 14.5 weeks ago. In accordance with the prophecy!

Result! Kohlar purposefully scuttles his old ship, forces Janeway to beam all 204 of his people aboard Voyager. He has interpreted the prophecies of his Nutso Nomadic Great-Grandfather to mean that their saviour, Baby Torres, is the Kuvah'magh. Possibly also the Kwisatz Haderach and the Booyakasha!

While poor slobs Chell and Celes desperately overhaul the plumbing, Kohlar coaches B'Elanna in some creative scroll interpretation and Tom in the use of some blunted bat'leth combat. (Nothing a Klingon loves more than the word "Nonlethal".) Kohlar's not going on record saying he doesn't believe in the "Prophecy"- but he's very ready to settle his followers down somewhere after 100 years of fruitless wandering. Settle down somewhere with fruit, I'm guessing. Heh, scurvy joke.

All these Klingons are carriers of a virus called the nehret. Unlike scurvy, biofilters can't spot it and only Klingons can catch it. Which would have been nice to know before the Torres' caught it. Of course, the hybrid stem cells and the EMH's ingenuity make a little miracle of their own. Praise Be To Science!

Meanwhile, Harry Kim is saved from a date worse than death when Neelix takes amorous Officer Ch'Rega off his hands. (But Tuvok's bed probably took the worst of it.)

I'm implying that the HEDGEHOG GOT IT ON! (In accordance with the prophecy.)

Soldiers of the Empire

*** (3 stars out of 5)

It's the Year of Kahless 999, and the Klingon warriors of the Bird-Of-Prey I.K.S. Rotarran are shuffling their feet, hanging their heads and hearing the sad music from Charlie Brown.

They never win! Lucy always pulls the football away at the last second. If by Lucy I mean the Jem'Hadar, and by football I mean the missing Klingon ship B'Moth. Like a B'Moth to a flame, drunk on blood wine by the barrel-full, they rush again and again into a conflagration that leaves them hurt, weakened, and humiliated.

They need a victory.

So nobody's happy to be working for out-of-practice former POW Martok, houseless dishonoured Starfleet lapdog Worf, and some Trill lady science officer who, in her previous life, slept with all their mothers. (Probably.)

Only Dax seems to be on board with the hurt feelings of these guys with their sleeveless metal shirts and Cardassian bone necklaces. She starts goading Worf to nudge Martok out of his 'cowardly' funk and back to the reckless abandon of standard free-wheeling Klingon life.

Knowing, of course, that this means her boyfriend must challenge the old one-eyed Space Dog and either re-kindle Martok's warrior heart or have his own torn out on the point of the General's blade. Maybe both.

"Soldiers of the Empire" has some great moments. When Bashir yells at Martok not to get blood on the carpet. When frustrated Space Cadet Nog mimes strangling Worf. When Martok gets it together and the bridge crew sings their space shanty. When Martok invites Worf to join his house. The moments of victory raise it above the merely mundane. Slightly. But don't let a Klingon hear you say that you think a Slice of Life story is kind of dull and same-y. Or it'll be more like Slice of Face.

Apocalypse Rising

*** (3 stars out of 5)

Captain Sisko and Dax limp home from their runabout mission into the raging Klingon-Federation War. As if that wasn't a foolish way to spend a weekend, Starfleet is sending Sisko behind enemy lines, posing as a Klingon, to expose a Changeling posing as a Klingon. Pot. Kettle. Black.

Sure, why not.  Weeks travel to Earth and back, weeks into Klingon space. Did they not have anyone A) Closer? B) More expendable?

Odo The Solid is depressed, taking solace in food and drink, contemplating a new career as a rolling cop. Over his objections that he is now too ordinary to be of use, Sisko orders Odo to come with him to Ty'Gokor deep in Klingon space. Worf suggests assassinating the Gowron changeling, but Starfleet wants to use the new polaron emitters to expose the impostor instead.

Privateer Dukat delivers them in his Bird of Prey. Worf tries to drill Sisko, Odo, and O'Brien in etiquette and protocol. Backhanding is a challenge to duel to the death. Ordinary belligerence should just be a punch. Do not turn your back while talking, whisper, or apologize. Also, dessert forks on the inside left.

Sisko cold-cocks a braggart after hearing that the man has killed an Academy friend of his named Captain Laporin. Laporin had breathing tubes like a Benzite, but was either a Benzenite or his killer was drunk. Or both.

Speaking of people the Klingons have killed lately, there were Vulcan children on Archanis. I'm not sure who was on Vrax, but the Klingons have "liberated" it, too. Losses have been heavy on both sides.

Martok recognizes and imprisons them. But he aids their escape and sics them on the Chancellor. As Worf fights Gowron, Odo detects that Martok is the infiltrator. Partly because it is strangling him with a tentacle. The crowd quickly draws disruptors and Tarrantinos its jelly ass.

"Apocalypse Rising" was probably more fun to make that it is to re-watch. Yay! Klingons! Funny teeth! A valise shaped like a fish! Well, not the valise. Anyway, good effects, sneaky-peaky spying, and barrels of blood wine. Although I've never spotted it, the statues in the hall of heroes include likenesses of Kahless and Chang (Christopher Plummer to the folks at home. Only he's not singing 'Edelweiss' and snapping Nazi necks.)

Redemption Part I

*** (3 stars out of 5)

Gowron, the buggy-eyed son of M'Rel comes to Picard for help in preventing the long-awaited Klingon Civil War.

Although it's been a year, Gowron is STILL not installed as the leader of the Council? That seems dicey. These are not a dithering people. Who's been in charge all year?

The sisters of Duras, Lursa & B'Etor, speak for the family and are amassing space fleets. Women may not serve on the Council these days (their boobs are too distracting), but they have found Duras' bastard son Toral to prop up on the throne. (Literally. Like he'd need a booster seat.)

Worf's brother Captain Kurn thinks Gowron is weak. Kurn wants to sweep away the government. Worf insists that their family back desperate Gowron: at the price of restoring the Mogh honor. And maybe some motorbikes.

Worf keeps buttering Gowron up as though he wasn't a suspect in K'mpec's poisoning. Are we pretending we're sure Duras did that?

The Shadowy Female Romulan Figure who had Geordi tortured is working with the Duras sisters and gunning for Picard. The Duras sisters try to seduce the Captain with tea and creepy scalp massage. They claim siding with them is the only way the UFP-Klingon alliance will last.

Most of the Council walks out with the Duras. Gowron flings threats at their backs. "Are you blind to what they represent? Then go. Your blood will paint the way to the future."

Worf soon finds himself following Gowron into combat. Gowron offers the knife of friendship, restoring Worf's name. Picard cannot support Klingon internal warfare, and orders Worf to return to duty. Worf resigns and turns in his badge instead.

Worf is made weapons officer of Gowron's ship Bortas. Picard tells Worf that the human qualities of compassion, generosity, and fairness are also a part of him. Will Worf agree?

Elsewhere on Klingon soil, Shadowy Female Romulan Figure steps forward: IT'S YAR?!? What the what?

"Redemption Part I" is no 'Best of Both Worlds' unless you love Klingons, in which case you got yourself a gagh-laden smorgasbord!

Over the summer of 1991, while eagerly awaiting ST:TNG Season 5, my Commander Data T-Shirt got me noticed by one Bryan Andrews. A Star Trek fan and friend of the first rank, this young man's encouragement and correspondences helped me through what I considered a very difficult adolescence. Like Mr. Worf, I spent many years trying to find a place where I could belong and be recognized for myself. In Star Trek fandom, and with stalwart friends, I found it.

Family

**** (4 stars out of 5)

While the ship is in the shop, it's old home week at Earth.

Sergey & Helena Rozhenko, Worf's adopted parents, stop in from Bobriusk. They are demonstrative humans who embarrass their reserved son. O'Brien's dad is also embarrassing: he visited once and chased a nurse. "But it's always SOMETHING with parents, isn't it?"

Sergey was a Chief Petty Officer, and somehow recognizes O'Brien as a fellow CPO despite what I understand to be two glaringly obvious lieutenant's pips on the guy's collar. Just like Officer Worf's collar! But finally the Chief has a full name: Miles Edward O'Brien.

The Rozhenkos may not understand Worf's discommendation from the Klingons, but they don't have to. In all that he suffers, they are proud of him and they love him. Mom promises to mail him some rokeg blood pie. (Now, is that the sort of pie that will spoil, or just congeal? Who cares, pie is pie!)

Bev opens a case of Jack R. Crusher's effects from storage. Jack made a holographic message for baby Wesley, to hear when he turned 18. Jack spoke of his devotion to Starfleet, to Wes' mom, and to his son.

Picard goes to his home village of Labarre, France for the first time in 20 years. He meets his nephew Rene, his sister-in-law Marie, and reunites with the old vineyard's old winemaker: his cantankerous brother Robert. Their father was devoted to keeping the place traditional. Traditional cooking, traditional vines, traditional English accents...?

"In my view," gripes Robert, "Life is already too convenient."

Jean-Luc was a scholastic and athletic hero, Robert was the responsible one, but also a jealous bully sometimes. Robert and Jean-Luc get sloshed on the '47 and get into a fist fight in the mud.

The Captain opens up to his brother with racking sobs. "They used me to kill and destroy and I couldn't stop them... I tried so hard. But I wasn't strong enough. I wasn't good enough."

"So.. my brother is a human being after all..."

It's not the FUN kind of mud wrestling. With old, bald brothers, I mean. But in the end, they forgive. They even hug. And the Captain's life in space calls him onward.

"Family" is all character and heart. It probably wouldn't have been possible in The Original Series to get away with only a minimal fist fight in the midst of all this yammering and hugging. But, damn it all, these characters became more genuine in episodes like this one. They could be heroes and still be people you wanted to know.