Singularity

** (2 stars out of 5)

Wow! Is it August 2152 already? How time flies in the little season that couldn't.

Monomania infects the crew as they approach a black hole in a trinary system. Three stars... and I don't want to give that many to the story. It's the old sci-fi trope 'space madness' back again for (among other things) a repeat performance of Deep Space Nine's 'Dramatis Personae'.

Reed's gone full Arnold Rimmer, polishing his jackboots and painting the corridors military grey instead of ocean grey. Trip rebuilds the Captain's chair from the ground-up, dismissing dampener seatbelts in favour of making it one centimeter shorter. Archer tries to write a single page forward for a biography of his father without actually managing to tell us anything about his father. Phlox is stropping his knives to dissect Travis before Travis does anything to give us any insight into Travis. Hoshi's making soup!

For today, the only way out is through. For reasons I can't fathom, turning around and going back the way they came will take two days, but going in closer to the centre will get them out in 17 minutes. I'm not sure that's how globes work! Science!

"Singularity" gets two stars because I like these people, but it's all been done before. I don't know why you'd want to creep up next to a black hole anyway. Didn't you see Disney's The Black Hole on movie night? Space madness could be the least of your problems if you get sucked down to hell while you're arguing about cup holders.

Parallax

*** (3 stars out of 5)

B'Elanna the Fix-It Gal and Janeway the Theory Lass bond while rescuing the ship from the bottom of a reflective singularity that only metaphorically resembles the bottom of an iced over pond, yet doesn't make a lick of sense if you apply any thought to it. Still, it's not like I passed physics- maybe their authentic space frontier gibberish IS legit. Anyone? Anyone? Higgs Boson?

On the interpersonal relationships front, Chakotay is working overtime to prevent a mutiny by his Maquis minions. They seem to agree with singer Voltaire: "Screw the Ocampa", I wanna go home. And since Janeway's altruism left them stranded, they have little interest in following her anywhere.

Yet, either because Chakotay strong-armed them, or because their old clothes reeked and were crusty with Cardassian blood, they are now sporting Starfleet togs and can only be identified as former outlaws by the chip on their shoulders. Literally.

I'm saying there's a gold tag on their necks that someone apparently took the time to replicate. It's a not-too-subtle "token" rank for the people that don't belong, and if that was Janeway's intention, it kind of sucks. If you're going to forever emblazon the Maquis with "NOT A REAL RANK" pins, then why not just let them wear their casual clothes? Are ALL of them Starfleet dropouts like Chakotay and Torres? Of course not. They were primarily CIVILIANS. So why not treat them with all the individual respect you show Kes and Neelix, which is still almost zero, but at least THAT'S because they're weird foreigners?

So after breaking the nose of the guy who's earned the right to be in charge of engineering by staying in school (and, yes, he's an arrogant, elitist S.O.B.) Torres gets to be our new Scotty. Because people with hair-trigger tempers should work with antimatter!

"Parallax" actually does do good character stuff, I'm mostly being a dink. Chakotay, for example, is admirable in his divided loyalty to his angry friends and his new circumstances. Janeway is pretty chummy for an inflexible jerk. And Torres? *Sigh.* She's dreamy. But this is not an invitation for my lovely wife to break my nose, oh nose!