Such Sweet Sorrow

*** (3 out of 5)

With a ticking clock to save all living things, and a Section 31 Skynetfleet bearing down upon them, Discovery evacuates to Enterprise with the intention of scuttling the ship. 

As holographic communications are now equated with Control’s trickery, Number One has sworn Enterprise off them forever. We still trust our good chums Georgiou and Ash, of course, who spent a ton of time with Leland the Roiling Mass of Infectious Nanomachines. Georgiou even has a new dungeon guard uniform, and Ash can wander off, on his own, with any shuttlecraft he fancies.

The self-destruct is not responding, because the priceless Sphere data has self-preservation skills, so we're back to "throw all this volatile knowledge far into the future to be safe". The 5th Red Angel Signal of 7 takes Discovery to Xahea, the planet with a Midgard Serpent eating it or something. A real Van Art planet. Tilly's whiz kid chum Queen Po hands them her recrystalizer to power their journey, so Georgiou doesn't get to set off a supernova with a ghastly death toll.

 

“I love you. All of you. Thank you for the greatest moments of my life.” says Michael to the bridge crew. When??? Which of these ceaseless explosions and fraught horrors and upsetting concussions have been the greatest moments of your life?

"I wish there was more time... there isn't." They have SO MUCH SPARE TIME FOR TEARFUL GOODBYES! Sarek and Amanda even heard with their souls that there was trouble and drive up in their personal spaceship just ahead of what is about to be a baby tribble in a kill zone!

Instead of a solo suicide mission, everyone on board (as represented by a double handful of familiar faces) agrees to follow Michael into hell, unless they’re getting a Spin Off... into Space… with Section 31.

Hang on, those evacuation walkways seem ludicrous to me. The effects are shiny & elaborate, but why stretch them out from the FARTHEST point from the other ship? Why not dock saucer edge to saucer edge? 

Speaking of docking, my first thought and last thought when Ash and Michael kiss was “Gross”. Unless Klingons are big teeth brushers, can she still taste Georgiou from when Ash ate her? Mentor- The Freshmaker! 

Detmer’s best friend is Tazzy. How do I know? I'm a big fan of superanemic.

Oh, when did we arrive on the control deck of a TRON Recognizer? Nope- this is the Enterprise at Red Alert, I’m afraid. Enterprise bridge is a fine new design, but incapable of activating my nostalgia. Building an entirely new & different thing is not how nostalgia works. But at least it's colourful and at least Georgiou disdains it. 

And I get a few seconds of Pike back in nearly the right uniform. 

No! Don’t you dare kill Jett...

Cliffhanger! Hashtag Shave Spock. 

Second Chances

**** (4 stars out of 5)

Nervala IV (not to be confused with Nelvana III) is transporter-accessible for only for a few days every eight years. The last time anyone was here, it was Will Riker.

And he never left.

A bizarre transporter malfunction back then split Lt. Riker into two guys! Neither is his evil half (unless they both are?). While we were following the one with the "cushy" life, the other has been alone in a shabby station for most of a decade. Dr. Crusher confirms that Ragged Riker is no clone: there's no genetic drift and his brain is nearly identical. (Crusher is very quick to claim clones can't be programmed with memories for someone who just met the high-functioning Kahless Clone. How could incense-huffing Klingon clerics do something the UFP can't?)

Geordi offers the "explanation": some sort of power surge, a second annular confinement beam, and a little phase distortion voodoo, but enough chit-chat, let's get to the kissing! Ragged Riker, now in gold, leaps for Deanna's lips. He's a PRE-BREAK-UP copy who's really been pining for some Betazoid Boinking.


Where there's Two Wills, there's a way. And plenty o' friction between the "brothers". Yet they don't seem very inclined to settle things with a Dance-Off or a Devil's Three-Way.

Lt. Riker creates a romantic scavenger hunt for Troi. The prize is a mouthful of beard!

Bev encourages Troi's interest in Lt. Willy. Bev got to taste the beard back in 'The Host', so why not Deanna?

Commander Riker knows about their Panking of Hankies and feels "Flattered... sort of." He also warns Deanna against the strong probability that she will be hurt... again. Red saves Gold in the caverns while retrieving valuable data mcnuggets, but, of course, when the chance arises to further his career, Gold jumps at it, and jumps ship. He's going to take the name Thomas Riker (their middle name) in the divorce. As a consolation prize, Deanna gets Just-Friends 'Original Recipe' Riker, and Tom gets a trombone.

"Second Chances" has to admit that Red Dwarf did this first with two Arnold Rimmers! but, heck, it doesn't matter. This is a marvelous story! The Riker effects blew me away back then, and they still hold up. This episode features a cameo appearance by Real-world astronaut Dr. Mae Jemison, first female African-American in space. It's also the Trek-directing debut of LeVar Burton, who will go on to direct many other amazing Treks. Don't miss your 'Second Chance' to experience them- keep reading my Beard-iful Blog!