Showing posts with label Alien Love Hospital. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alien Love Hospital. Show all posts

Friday, January 11, 2013

Resurrection

** (2 stars out of 5)
What a great teaser, though! I forgot which episode this was, the title didn't stand out at all... and then BAM, in beams EVIL Bariel. Crossover!

Kira lets the scoundrel kidnap her with his powerless phaser, then takes him back to her place to check his other weapon. IN HIS PANTS! Of course Kira falls for him: he's mad, bad, dangerous to know, a liar, a thief... and he's dressed like a vicar. What's not to hump... uh, like? If Odo gets to shtup Fluid Floozy then Kira needs a little Sinful Something-Something too!

Somehow the presence of a guy from the Mirror Universe causes no one to go on the alert. Odo, Worf, nobody is looking over their shoulder to see if any power-hungry Alley-Cat Nutcase versions of Major Kira have snuck in on tippy-toe like some sexy Grinch?

Well, of course I mean the murderous Intendant Kira! And of course she did. She's brought in a Ringer, a copy of Bariel Antos to distract local Bumpkin Kira and steal the Orb from the Temple Promenade. It sounds like Mirror Bajor doesn't have any Orbs. The Intendant is convinced that 'The Orb Bearer' will unite the people of Mirror Bajor in a common faith and lead directly into a holy war against the evil Alliance. Isn't she banking rather a lot on a total unknown? What guarantee does she have that this new religion would suddenly catch on? For every Catholic Church there must be hundreds or thousands of Raelians. And who wants Sardaukar legions, anyway? What a hassle!

Dax starts the episode "Resurrection" by trying to get Kira to cast her dating nets a little wider. Maybe a guy with a transparent head or a third eye could have could good qualities, too? (Or even a certain long-term buddy in law enforcement who fits into a jam jar?) But Kira is so conservative she actually knocks boots with a dead ringer for a dead lingerer. Sometimes... you just have to move on.

Monday, March 12, 2012

First Contact

*** (3 stars out of 5)
His heart is where his guts should be, and under his shoes and mittens- he's got digits!

"Rivas Jakara" is the strangest patient Sikla Medical Facility has ever seen. He got hurt in a riot. His personal physician "Crusher" would be more familiar with his weird abnormalities- if there was any such doctor in the world.

Planet Malcor is readying its first interstellar flight. Conservative Minister Krola believes these advances are too fast for society to endure. Women should stick to making babies, not warp engines.

Mirasta Yale has a more open mind, and soon meets a pair of aliens: Picard and Troi. They explain that specialists have been studying the society covertly. One was Riker, and he's missing. Has anyone turned him in for the 10 cent first officer deposit?

Mirasta points out that Malcorians regard themselves as the centre of the universe. Many will be terrified of alien infiltration. They're also a little wigged out by Sasquatch.

Picard opens Robert's wine to share with Malcorian Chancellor Avil Durken. I'm pretty sure this guy isn't what Robert had in mind when he told his brother: 'Try not to drink it alone."

"This morning I was the leader of the universe as I know it. Tonight, I am only a voice in a chorus," says the Chancellor.

Riker is cornered by Nurse Lanel who has always wanted to make love with an alien. "I really have to get going, all the other... aliens are waiting for me." Yet he consents, and kisses the lips that Kelsey Grammar hath kissed.

The orderlies beat Riker soundly for being born weird and word of it reaches Krola. He attempts to frame Riker for murder. Plus he has some unpaid parking tickets he stuffs in Riker's pockets.

Durkin puts the warp program on hold to divert more resources to education. Maybe if they weren't such backward hicks they'd get more tourists...

Mirasta, however, successfully begs to go along on Enterprise. "I have been prepared for the realities of space travel since I was nine years old and sitting in a planetarium."

"First Contact" lays down the principles of current Federation practice. A far cry from Captain Kirk's day: beam down, overthrow local dictator, and bed a grateful nation.

As the old rhyme says: "In twenty-two hundred and seventy-two, Captain Kirk slept with Andorians blue. In twenty-two hundred and seventy-three, Captain Kirk said: It burns when I pee."